norealitygrip.blogspot.com
Reality Grip: August 2006
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No Grip On Reality. Monday, August 28, 2006. Hey, Don't Get Angry At Me For Sneezing In Your Face, I Am Just Trying To Prevent A Species From Dying. Flu viruses have survived for millions of years, buddy. They are a part of our Earth's beautiful ecosystem. Here, take a pamphlet. See? Those little adorable viruses? You see, the flu's natural function, the function it was selected by nature to have, is to transmit itself from host to host by causing their hosts to sneeze! Here, take a pamphlet. The questio...
norealitygrip.blogspot.com
Reality Grip: January 2007
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No Grip On Reality. Tuesday, January 30, 2007. What I Do In My Off Hours. This one speaks for itself. WESTERVILLE, Ohio (AP) - A high school lunch period was disrupted Monday by a greased, naked student who ran around screaming and flailing his arms until police twice used a stun gun on him, authorities said. That prank went a little farther than he intended, I guess," Gaylor said. Police said that an administrator ordered Killian to stop, but that the student made a sexual gesture and kept running.
norealitygrip.blogspot.com
Reality Grip: Scientists: We Must Return To The Moon
http://norealitygrip.blogspot.com/2006/09/scientists-we-must-return-to-moon.html
No Grip On Reality. Wednesday, September 20, 2006. Scientists: We Must Return To The Moon. That's right folks. CNN.com reported that exact headline. I imagine the story went something like this:. Scientist 1: We must return to the Moon! As you can see, we are deep into preparations. Scientist 2: Jesus, cool it Adrian. If you hadn't forgotten your damn wallet up there, we wouldn't have to go back at all. Adrian: . Fuck you, Steve. Fuck you. Reporter: And that just about sums it up for science!
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Reality Grip: When A Comma Is Actually A Stand In For A Sigh / Please, Flush the Toilet
http://norealitygrip.blogspot.com/2006/09/when-comma-is-actually-stand-in-for.html
No Grip On Reality. Monday, September 25, 2006. When A Comma Is Actually A Stand In For A Sigh / Please, Flush the Toilet. At my office, on the inside of each of the men's room stall doors, there is a very simple sign:. Please, flush the toilet. Volumes are communicated in that one comma. Volumes. Subscribe to: Post Comments (Atom). View my complete profile. Medical Research Uncovers Shocking Explanation For. When A Comma Is Actually A Stand In For A Sigh / P. Scientists: We Must Return To The Moon.
norealitygrip.blogspot.com
Reality Grip: September 2006
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No Grip On Reality. Thursday, September 28, 2006. Medical Research Uncovers Shocking Explanation For Crop Circles. Recent reseach by a team of medical researchers at Rockefeller University has uncovered a startling truth about crop circles. Results have shown, conclusively, that every single person who believes in an explanation other than drunk farmer's kids as the makers of crop circles suffers from what is technically known as Fucking Moron Syndrome. Look at these people! Note: in a related study, res...
norealitygrip.blogspot.com
Reality Grip: April 2006
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No Grip On Reality. Sunday, April 30, 2006. My Car Is Fueled By Human Misery. Also, it has zero emissions of any sort! Well, technically speaking, it does 'bleed,' in that the tail pipe has a steady flow of human (I think / hope) blood coming out of it at all times. I'd say its probably about a gallon of blood an hour, in fact. Even when the thing is off! Let me tell you, my garage drainage system had to be torn out and upgraded bigtime when I got this new puppy. Yup, I sure do love my Hummer. Links to t...
norealitygrip.blogspot.com
Reality Grip: We Are Not Bombing Anything! We Are Merely an Efficient High Altitude Drop Off Delivery Service!
http://norealitygrip.blogspot.com/2006/10/we-are-not-bombing-anything-we-are.html
No Grip On Reality. Friday, October 06, 2006. We Are Not Bombing Anything! We Are Merely an Efficient High Altitude Drop Off Delivery Service! How dare you say we are bombing things! Sure, we may not have the highest standards for shipping and handling, and sure, maybe we are so worried about getting the job done on time we just throw the packages out of planes moving at high velocity over our customers! I mean, look. Do you have any idea how much fuel costs? No, of course not! What do you think we are, ...
norealitygrip.blogspot.com
Reality Grip: What I Do In My Off Hours
http://norealitygrip.blogspot.com/2007/01/what-i-do-in-my-off-hours.html
No Grip On Reality. Tuesday, January 30, 2007. What I Do In My Off Hours. This one speaks for itself. WESTERVILLE, Ohio (AP) - A high school lunch period was disrupted Monday by a greased, naked student who ran around screaming and flailing his arms until police twice used a stun gun on him, authorities said. That prank went a little farther than he intended, I guess," Gaylor said. Police said that an administrator ordered Killian to stop, but that the student made a sexual gesture and kept running.
norealitygrip.blogspot.com
Reality Grip: October 2006
http://norealitygrip.blogspot.com/2006_10_01_archive.html
No Grip On Reality. Friday, October 06, 2006. We Are Not Bombing Anything! We Are Merely an Efficient High Altitude Drop Off Delivery Service! How dare you say we are bombing things! Sure, we may not have the highest standards for shipping and handling, and sure, maybe we are so worried about getting the job done on time we just throw the packages out of planes moving at high velocity over our customers! I mean, look. Do you have any idea how much fuel costs? No, of course not! What do you think we are, ...
norealitygrip.blogspot.com
Reality Grip: May 2006
http://norealitygrip.blogspot.com/2006_05_01_archive.html
No Grip On Reality. Wednesday, May 31, 2006. Commercials Before Movies Want Me To Buy A Lot Of Cel Phones / Threaten Me With Death For Using Them In A Theater. At the last movie I saw I counted no less than 3 ads before the movie for phones, and as many warnings about ejection from my seat via a comical mechanical process, being a morally reprehensible sock puppet or a big fatso jerk for using my phone in a theather. Something of a mixed message, I'd say. Links to this post. Saturday, May 27, 2006. The s...