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the Polka Dot Barn: December 2011
http://polkadotbarn.blogspot.com/2011_12_01_archive.html
Thursday, December 15, 2011. GOD HELP ME HELP MY MOM. This is an email I sent out yesterday to my children, cousins, dad and U., aunt and uncle, and very close friends. After I read it again this afternoon I realized that it contained some information that I didn't put in my blog post yesterday so I thought I would post it for you to read. I'm also going to include some pictures of my mother so you can see how dear she is/was. Now I'm going to tell you where we are now. We do love to shop! The facility i...
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the Polka Dot Barn: #4 BUT SHE HAS ALWAYS BEEN SO HEALTHY
http://polkadotbarn.blogspot.com/p/4-but-shes-always-been-so-healthy.html
4 BUT SHE HAS ALWAYS BEEN SO HEALTHY. My mom, my mom, my mom, i don't know what to do. I don't know what to pray besides please, please, please, please, please. All it seems i can do is cry right now. Later will be better but every time i talk to one of my sisters, i cry. Should i be there and ignore my family's memory Christmas? You know i'm going up right after the first of the year. You know that's when i always go. I always go then to pick her up and bring her back to the ranch. DO SOMETHING WITH ME.
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the Polka Dot Barn: #2...DESPAIR... AM I REALLY WORTHLESS??
http://polkadotbarn.blogspot.com/p/despair-am-i-really-worthless.html
2DESPAIR. AM I REALLY WORTHLESS? I am so tired. I am so tired of feeling tired. When I think about how vibrant and active I was before my health started. It's slide down the slippery, muddy hill of 'bad health', sometimes I cry. Most of the time I'm okay with where ever I am in life. Because of my unfaltering faith in the Lord. And my knowledge that. It could always be worse. But, let's face it, we all, all believers, doubt Him at. Blessed and in knowing that I am able to keep my eye on the Lord. I had a...
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the Polka Dot Barn: April 2013
http://polkadotbarn.blogspot.com/2013_04_01_archive.html
Sunday, April 14, 2013. HI MY NAME IS JAN AND. I'm standing at a podium in the middle of a small room and I introduce myself,. Hi My name is Jan and I suffer from IBS.". Did I expect a response? From an empty room? IBS is Irritable Bowel Syndrome. It's not something one talks about let alone announce from a podium. In the line at the grocery store? Over the P.A. system at Wal-Mart. At the risk of joining the photos of Wal-Mart shoppers? If you have a flare-up (flare). You are chained to your bathroom.
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the Polka Dot Barn: January 2012
http://polkadotbarn.blogspot.com/2012_01_01_archive.html
Thursday, January 26, 2012. YOU NEVER KNOW WHEN GOD IS GOING TO PULL THE RUG OUT FROM UNDER YOU. But, when He does, you just go with it using prayer, His strength and deep breaths (you, not God). And it happened to me a couple of weeks ago. I'm still reeling but i'm sure it will all settle down soon. Ah, heck, who am i kidding? It won't settle down until my mother passes or gets to the point that she needs to return to a memory care facility. But, it's okay. She's my mom. What am i supposed to say? So, i...
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the Polka Dot Barn: September 2014
http://polkadotbarn.blogspot.com/2014_09_01_archive.html
Sunday, September 7, 2014. A WEDDING IN PHOTOS. Wow I had no idea how long it would take to upload a mere percentage of the photos taken of Blake and Heather's wedding by my sister, Joan, a professional photographer (and home chef). Add to those the ones taken by the semi-neverwillbeprofessional photographer, me, of the reception. I gave up two days to post this blog. But, oh, it's so. Having my precious family, the people I love the most in the world, all together - absolutely priceless! I learned somet...
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the Polka Dot Barn: November 2014
http://polkadotbarn.blogspot.com/2014_11_01_archive.html
Tuesday, November 18, 2014. GERMANY WAS AFTER FRANCE! After the art retreat week in the south of France. It was time for me to jump over to Germany to spend. Some time with my "little girl", Skyler, and her wonderful family. I stayed for two weeks which seemed to fly by and had such a great time. Brian and Skyler went above and beyond to make my visit as comfortable. And easy as they could. Remember, I'm still in the surgical boot! Below are pictures of my trip to Germany. It was wonderful. Ahhhhh, Adven...
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the Polka Dot Barn: #3 DEPRESSION HAS ALMOST DESTROYED ME
http://polkadotbarn.blogspot.com/p/depression-and-me.html
3 DEPRESSION HAS ALMOST DESTROYED ME. I've never asked why me. I've never wondered why me. I've always felt blessed. No matter what kind of medical situation. I was dealing with. Over the past six years. Always realizing that someone else was facing. Something much more serious. I didn't talk about what I was going through. I haven't been one to complain,. I put on the "I'm fabulous" face. I've suffered from clinical depression before. And being a psych major in college. And keeping up with my reading,.
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the Polka Dot Barn: January 2015
http://polkadotbarn.blogspot.com/2015_01_01_archive.html
Thursday, January 15, 2015. DESPAIR.AM I REALLY WORTHLESS? Written once, now posted twice. I originally wrote this post. In October of 2010 and posted it on "page 2" of my blog. Which is very rarely seen by my readers. This evening I received an email from a reader. That read this post just yesterday and left me her feelings. God spoke to me, I could hear him, as he urged me. To finally post Despair on Page 1. My reader's comments and my feelings after I re-read this post. I am so tired. Blessed and in k...
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the Polka Dot Barn: August 2014
http://polkadotbarn.blogspot.com/2014_08_01_archive.html
Saturday, August 30, 2014. I'M SICK. POOR ME. *BUT THIS IS IMPORTANT! I feel horrible. I got home from Germany on Thursday w/ acute bronchitis. Yep, home, doctor, bed. I told my sister just a few minutes ago that I had to write this blog post right now. Even while I'm feeling icky because it's so. No pictures to attach - I don't feel well enough to search my photos. For ones that would work. So, this time you just get my words. What the heck is going on people? And running with it on the phone with Joan!
