assholeclimbers.com
AssholeClimbers: Donkeylock to a figure-pi
http://www.assholeclimbers.com/2012/12/donkeylock-to-figure-pi.html
Tuesday, December 4, 2012. Donkeylock to a figure-pi. The party was going great. That's until Fred started in about his epic ascent of the pink route. You have successfully alienated almost everyone. But let's be honest, it's for the best. We can climb if we want to. We can leave your friends behind. 'Cause your friends don't climb, and if they don't climb, then they ain't no friends of mine. How to use it:. Situation #1: Mating season. Situation #2: Silent insertion. Ask, open up the heckle taps. Wait u...
assholeclimbers.com
AssholeClimbers: AC Glossary: Broulderer
http://www.assholeclimbers.com/2012/05/ac-glossary-broulderer.html
Monday, May 21, 2012. Subscribe to: Post Comments (Atom). Liking us on Facebook gives you 1 strength, -2 charisma, and 6 shenanigans. The AssholeClimbers blog was a conceived in an unholy union of 2 dudes lubricated with a bottle of scotch. It's a collaborative project, with a growing number of contributing assholes. If you have comments or want to get involved, please feel free to e-mail the authors at info@assholeclimbers.com. If you have complaints, welcome to the club. Genetic issues, a reader post.
assholeclimbers.com
AssholeClimbers: AC Glossary: Douchecrag
http://www.assholeclimbers.com/2012/12/ac-glossary-douchecrag.html
Tuesday, December 11, 2012. Any climbing area excessively populated by asshole climbers, shirtless broulderers. Clueless chuffers or beta spitting locals. Area may be permanently douched due to ease of access, grade selection or notoriety. However, any crag can be temporarily douched by circumstance. In which case, potential areas are to be avoided on weekends, during school vacation weeks and holidays. A person who ruins your climbing day with his/her behavior. Through an ipod speaker. If you have compl...
ordealist.com
Video – Ordealist
http://ordealist.com/section/video
This clip, shot in June 2014, shows a magnificent ridge in Denali National Park. Some places are so spectacular they tell their own story. This clip, shot in June 2014, shows a magnificent ridge in Denali National Park. It was shot for The Sanctity of Space. A film on Denali’s mountains by outdoorsmen and directors Freddie Wilkinson and Renan Ozturk, that’s slated for release sometime this year. Leave a comment on The Ridge. A Desert Life profiles the king of the dirtbag climbers. Video documents ascent ...
assholeclimbers.com
AssholeClimbers: No, I won't pass your girlfriend's belay test. . .
http://www.assholeclimbers.com/2012/01/no-i-wont-pass-your-girlfriends-belay.html
Tuesday, January 3, 2012. No, I won't pass your girlfriend's belay test. . . And if you don't shut the fuck up, I'm gonna fail yours too. I'm talking to you, the asshat wearing underarmour and basketball shorts with the girl who just painted her 3 inch nails. Yeah bra, Imma fail the shit out of her, and it's tots your fault. It's the blind leading the blonde. To the girl: ditch the dude. He'll never really be a real climber anyway, and I'm way better looking. January 5, 2012 at 10:38 PM. This makes me so...
assholeclimbers.com
AssholeClimbers: De-emphasizing your Junk and other Obvious Reasons to Avoid Wearing Mesh
http://www.assholeclimbers.com/2012/02/de-emphasizing-your-junk-and-other.html
Tuesday, February 28, 2012. De-emphasizing your Junk and other Obvious Reasons to Avoid Wearing Mesh. Mesh shorts are arguably the gold standard of athletic apparel. As a kiddie you may have donned them along with some shiny cleats, shin guards and a soccer jersey. Or perhaps basketball was your thing and paired with your sweet Jordans. For those of us who preferred to spend our time pool side, mesh shorts serve as the perfect cover-up .super cute when you roll the waist band over a few times too. Harnes...
assholeclimbers.com
AssholeClimbers: Climbing blogs
http://www.assholeclimbers.com/2012/11/climbing-blogs.html
Tuesday, November 20, 2012. Do you own a computer? Does your helmet have mor e climbing brand stickers than plastic? Do you actually think that people want to listen to you? You should start a blog! It's totally easy and will bring tons of meaning to your climbing and the internet will be really polite and will thank you for your contributions, right? Tip #1: Don't fucking start a blog. Tip #2: Be insanely awesome. Tip #3: Yeah, you made a blog anyway. April 17, 2006. ZOMG welcome to my new blog! Listen ...
assholeclimbers.com
AssholeClimbers: Pieces of Shkit #5: Endeez
http://www.assholeclimbers.com/2012/12/pieces-of-shkit-5-endeez.html
Thursday, December 27, 2012. Pieces of Shkit #5: Endeez. I present to you - SMC Endeez. Metal tubes designed to screw onto the ends of your rope to indicate. uh. the ends of your rope. Not pictured: Ribbed Endeez, For a More Pleasurable Rappel Experience. Personally, I'm amazed that up until now, no one has thought of a better way to prevent the ends of the rope from passing through a belay device. Is than an Endeez on your rope or is that Cinch just happy to see me? What could be simpler? Personally, Im...
assholeclimbers.com
AssholeClimbers: Ode to the dude bouldering in a harness
http://www.assholeclimbers.com/2012/04/ode-to-dude-bouldering-in-harness.html
Monday, April 2, 2012. Ode to the dude bouldering in a harness. The other day in the gym I was having a session. Getting thrown off my project and feeling depression. In the corner of my eye, I spied some dude trying his darndest. But for some reason he was bouldering in a harness! His red coyote lace ups were grasping for purchase. Every move he made was a lunge made in earnest. His effort was heartwarming but it just felt wrong. Why the fuck was he bouldering with a harness still on? But you know what?
assholeclimbers.com
AssholeClimbers: Genetic issues, a reader post
http://www.assholeclimbers.com/2012/05/genetic-issues-reader-post.html
Monday, May 28, 2012. Genetic issues, a reader post. There has been quite a bit of attention paid to our coverage of harnesscrotchitis. We assure you that we will continue to examine the issue. In the meantime, one of our readers posted this story on our facebook. Page, and we decided it must be shared with the world. This is all true and the lady was nervous as fuck. I knew it was going to get weird at when she started off with 'am i speaking with a belayer? Chas: "WRG this is Chas". Lady: "I am just cu...