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I swear this shit is so prophetic: December 2009

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I swear this shit is so prophetic. Revenge is a dish best served cold: a eulogy. The other day I had a few guests over to my Omaha abode for a short-order breakfast. I sat them all in my dining room and cooked at the speed of light: eggs, bacon, french toast, all in mere seconds. It was one of those Sunday morning stomach-saving breakfasts. You know the kind I'm talking about. Over my sweater so that I raced from my seat, but only too late. She had peed all over it. Then she peed on my sweater. I started...

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I swear this shit is so prophetic: October 2009

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I swear this shit is so prophetic. Scary Stories: The gayest shit I ever wrote. In honor of Halloween, let's talk about something scary. Something scarier than aliens or zombies, or even nuclear war; let's talk about something real, a threat from within. More specifically, let's talk about gay people. Think it doesn't sound scary? After all," you may say to yourself, "just like zombies and aliens, no one actually knows. Any gay people, right? Did he just say 'young men? Yeah Totally fucking did. This may...

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I swear this shit is so prophetic: September 2009

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I swear this shit is so prophetic. David and Goliath and Emilio and a fatass table. This is an attempt to explain the above photograph. The other day, Emilio and I walked into our apartment and saw a big table sitting in the livingroom that wasn't there when we'd left. That reminds me. I use a lot of phrases incorrectly. Usually when I say "the other day," I could be talking about any given day between yesterday and 5 years ago. But I promise this time it really was just the other day. Later that night w...

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I swear this shit is so prophetic: 5 reasons why you, too, should love the Boston Celtics

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I swear this shit is so prophetic. 5 reasons why you, too, should love the Boston Celtics. The Celtics are in my family. My mother once received a share of stock in the Celtics as a gift. We always had a Larry Bird Christmas ornament on our tree. My dad used to watch Celtics games over at Robert Bly's place when he was in New York. Reason 1 - Kevin Garnett:. It's like hopping out of the shower without a towel, running into a meat freezer and staying there for about 10-15 minutes, and running back out&#46...

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I swear this shit is so prophetic: February 2010

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I swear this shit is so prophetic. Technically, we aren't just a bunch of white boys, because we have Emilio. Subscribe to: Posts (Atom). People whose shit is equally prophetic.

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I swear this shit is so prophetic: November 2009

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I swear this shit is so prophetic. This is how bored we are. Leave a comment saying what your favorite clip was and if your funny enough you may get a date with Max! Subscribe to: Posts (Atom). People whose shit is equally prophetic. This is how bored we are.