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June 2015 – Reasons to be Single

https://glitterforgrownups.wordpress.com/2015/06

Reasons to be Single. A glittering existence post-love. Part 147: Social Mobility. June 24, 2015. June 24, 2015. The middle class is exclusively populated by men who cycle around on fixie-bikes, with tight trousers and over-sized beards, like an archetypal butch from a 1970s gay porn movie. Or else ones who leave the house dressed in un-ironed combats and ancient converse, wearing a faded t-shirt with a 90s cartoon character printed on the back. For those of us who grew up in Woolwich, showing our nipple...

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May 2015 – Reasons to be Single

https://glitterforgrownups.wordpress.com/2015/05

Reasons to be Single. A glittering existence post-love. Part 146: Having it All. May 31, 2015. August 11, 2016. She wasn’t really bothered about my brilliant progress at work, or my fabulous holiday on the lake, or the Peruvian restaurant I had recently discovered in deepest, darkest Shoreditch, which, by the way, makes the most perfect pisco sours. (Although, to be fair, she was always willing to compliment even the most unflattering haircut.). Not that I’m bitter. And if you are lucky enough that your ...

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Part 147: Social Mobility – Reasons to be Single

https://glitterforgrownups.wordpress.com/2015/06/24/part-147-social-mobility

Reasons to be Single. A glittering existence post-love. Part 147: Social Mobility. June 24, 2015. June 24, 2015. The middle class is exclusively populated by men who cycle around on fixie-bikes, with tight trousers and over-sized beards, like an archetypal butch from a 1970s gay porn movie. Or else ones who leave the house dressed in un-ironed combats and ancient converse, wearing a faded t-shirt with a 90s cartoon character printed on the back. For those of us who grew up in Woolwich, showing our nipple...

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Part 151: Dumb Girlfriends – Reasons to be Single

https://glitterforgrownups.wordpress.com/2015/07/22/part-151-dumb-girlfriends

Reasons to be Single. A glittering existence post-love. Part 151: Dumb Girlfriends. July 22, 2015. Playing dumb is all well and good when you are very young and beautiful. Post-adolescents can flutter their eyelashes, powder their noses, drink cheap white wine and embrace naïvety to their heart’s content. When it all comes crashing down the pain and the torment and the tears will provide a valuable life-lesson, and they’ll be young enough to move forward, carrying the hard-won wisdom like a mantle. You a...

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December 2014 – Reasons to be Single

https://glitterforgrownups.wordpress.com/2014/12

Reasons to be Single. A glittering existence post-love. Part 137: Face for Radio. December 29, 2014. December 29, 2014. Christmas is a long, cold drag, and this year I’m like the Grinch, except more sweary; hating my Facebook friends list from A-Z, refusing to shave unsightly excess bodily hair and locking myself away so as not to deplete my already dwindling social circle any further. I’m not eating glass, but I am crunching on whisky-soaked ice cubes with alarming regularity. What I’m saying then is th...

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Reasons to be Single – Page 2 – A glittering existence post-love

https://glitterforgrownups.wordpress.com/page/2

Reasons to be Single. A glittering existence post-love. Part 169: Unsolicited Advice. May 21, 2016. June 25, 2016. Breast is best for baby.x’) disguised as congratulation. I have no idea how anyone refrains from writing FUCK OFF in all caps and chucking their baby out the window, just to see what the smug twats will write then. This is divine retribution and you are just going to have to suck it up with good grace, cheap wine and cigarettes cadged from your husband’s aunty, like we did). May 19, 2016.

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July 2015 – Reasons to be Single

https://glitterforgrownups.wordpress.com/2015/07

Reasons to be Single. A glittering existence post-love. Part 151: Dumb Girlfriends. July 22, 2015. Playing dumb is all well and good when you are very young and beautiful. Post-adolescents can flutter their eyelashes, powder their noses, drink cheap white wine and embrace naïvety to their heart’s content. When it all comes crashing down the pain and the torment and the tears will provide a valuable life-lesson, and they’ll be young enough to move forward, carrying the hard-won wisdom like a mantle. The p...

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February 2015 – Reasons to be Single

https://glitterforgrownups.wordpress.com/2015/02

Reasons to be Single. A glittering existence post-love. Part 142: Endless Endings. February 17, 2015. March 1, 2015. But it isn’t the initial distress that’s the worst thing about break-ups. The heartbreak and all that, that’s just part of life. We learn from it, we grow and we become something better than whatever it is we were before – something stronger, sharper, hotter. To suss out whether sex might be on the cards, ever again, at some point in the future? It’s well beyond your common or garden varie...

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September 2014 – Reasons to be Single

https://glitterforgrownups.wordpress.com/2014/09

Reasons to be Single. A glittering existence post-love. Part 133: Other People. September 21, 2014. September 21, 2014. Have you met any people recently? New ones you aren’t obliged to tolerate for a salary? I’m light now. Lighter than air on a cloud. And, of course, I’m still on the market, if you’re interested. Tell your brothers, lock up your sons and, you know, for fuck sake, call me. Because solitude, like all things that aren’t yoga, is best practiced in moderation. Number 5 Most Influential UK Sex...

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October 2014 – Reasons to be Single

https://glitterforgrownups.wordpress.com/2014/10

Reasons to be Single. A glittering existence post-love. October 23, 2014. October 24, 2014. I’m not getting laid enough. It’s a real problem (if you don’t compare it to Ebola), and there’s no obvious solution. Especially now that I’ve decided one-night-stands are for losers, and stopped shagging my ex-boyfriend and all his mates due to spurious moral reasons such as the fact they’ve all got married and impregnated their wives. But what’s one supposed to do? Tinder’s populated by a revolting pile of misfi...