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My Blake Incarcerated: May 2008

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The tales of struggling singer-songwriter trying to make it in the Midwest. Wednesday, May 21, 2008. David Archuleta Sex Tape! The title of this post is intended to mislead perverted google searchers). Statement #1: I usually make sound financial decisions. Supporting Evidence: I contribute regularly to my Roth 401K, and I invest in value stocks. Last year my portfolio increased 35%! Statement #2: I am good at math. Statement #3: I am a fucking idiot. Buying a sweet Tag Heuer watch. Calling waitresses "H...

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My Blake Incarcerated: March 2008

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The tales of struggling singer-songwriter trying to make it in the Midwest. Wednesday, March 19, 2008. There Will Be Faint. Please refer to my first post about my shitty neighbors for this snippet). I am extreme. When my surgery is over, I plan on printing this picture (see above) and asking him to have Sasha personally it sign for me. Driving around campus senior year yelling "Seniors Rules! The list goes on. Feel free to post your favorite memory of the White Stallion in the comments section. Prior to ...

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My Blake Incarcerated: The Inevitable Sex and the City Post

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The tales of struggling singer-songwriter trying to make it in the Midwest. Sunday, June 1, 2008. The Inevitable Sex and the City Post. I had seen only bits of the show here or there and was never impressed. Upon hearing about the anticipated movie, I decided to watch an episode On Demand to get a better understanding of the phenomenon. For the sake of simplicity, I will assume the writing style and overall theme of the episode to be representative of the entire series. 3 It logically makes no sense....

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My Blake Incarcerated: June 2008

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The tales of struggling singer-songwriter trying to make it in the Midwest. Sunday, June 22, 2008. It's a Limbo Party! Our subject was dominating the competition. Her flexibility was outstanding, and she cleared the limbo stick with ease as it was progressively lowered. In the last round, when it was very low, the remaining contestants had to bend back very far to clear the stick. Our subject was wearing a jean skirt. Our subject was not wearing underwear. I know girls don't wear panties sometimes (.

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My Blake Incarcerated: Self-Deprecation, Vol. I

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The tales of struggling singer-songwriter trying to make it in the Midwest. Tuesday, June 10, 2008. Self-Deprecation, Vol. I. In the years of my youth, outstanding skinny genes helped me stay delicately fit, tight and ripe despite drinking heavily, eating fast food and leading an overall sedentary lifestyle. I maintained a weight of 150 pounds from high school through junior year of college. People often commented, "Get some meat on your bones," "Eat up son" and "Stop staring at my tits! Are you wet yet?

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My Blake Incarcerated: April 2008

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The tales of struggling singer-songwriter trying to make it in the Midwest. Thursday, April 17, 2008. What rhymes with catheter? I went through ACL Reconstruction Surgery on April 9th. Here’s a brief recap:. To be continued soon, where I discuss a week living with my mom in my apartment, a gay physical therapist, and my sympathy pussy experiment…). Posted by d. laybeck. Links to this post. Wednesday, April 2, 2008. Feel free to rename this post. This made me re-evaluate my ridiculous fear. I mean, ge...

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My Blake Incarcerated: "Gay Chicken"

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The tales of struggling singer-songwriter trying to make it in the Midwest. Monday, January 5, 2009. I've been a bit depressed lately. Anecdotal evidence has shown my confidence and success rate with the ladies much higher whenever I go back to NY. I just feel more beast mode for some reason. This gets me down. However my recent case of blues is probably just a mild case of Seasonal Affect Disorder (SAD). Isn't that a convenient acronym? My mom showed it to me over Christmas. I was soooo cute. 3) "Gay Ch...

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My Blake Incarcerated: It's a Limbo Party!

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The tales of struggling singer-songwriter trying to make it in the Midwest. Sunday, June 22, 2008. It's a Limbo Party! Our subject was dominating the competition. Her flexibility was outstanding, and she cleared the limbo stick with ease as it was progressively lowered. In the last round, when it was very low, the remaining contestants had to bend back very far to clear the stick. Our subject was wearing a jean skirt. Our subject was not wearing underwear. I know girls don't wear panties sometimes (.

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My Blake Incarcerated: February 2008

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The tales of struggling singer-songwriter trying to make it in the Midwest. Sunday, February 24, 2008. There's been some some new Chicago readership. I don't really have any good material at the moment to write about, so I'll break out a classic. This question could not be passed off as small talk. This was a gift, wrapped with a pretty bow on it. It signaled that she was clearly thinking of a threesome - one that most likely would involve her, her romantic interest (me! Being and Becoming Human. A schol...