englishmanintx.blogspot.com
An Englishman in Texas: Arse
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An Englishman in Texas. Friday, 31 July 2015. It was Monday evening and I'd been struggling with a pain in my lower gut for most of the day. To be specific, pain. What do you think? I don't know,' my wife told me. Man, this be some good shit right here,' I told Bess without any of the irony which would ordinarily have underlined such an observation. I knew the morphine and the drip meant there was a possibility of my being in serious trouble, but for the moment I didn't really mind too much. Into the tap...
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An Englishman in Texas: August 2015
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An Englishman in Texas. Friday, 28 August 2015. In June, 2004, I finally went mad; not mad as in drinking quite a lot, having a curry, then climbing atop a bus shelter with my trousers worn upon my head, nor mad meaning I walked through the village one Sunday wearing a rather unusual hat. Like one of those tediously middle-class fuckers who used to write in to John Peel's Home Truths. Radio show; no - my madness took the form of serious clinical depression. Music wasn't really an option, because it was t...
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An Englishman in Texas: March 2015
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An Englishman in Texas. Friday, 27 March 2015. The issue was, I guess, not specifically that Tim was hilariously square, socially awkward, and conspicuously in the thrall of a seemingly domineering mother, but that he was all of these in conjunction with being loud and sometimes quite pushy. He was an abrasive personality and didn't seem to realise it. He had about him the quality of a manic schoolboy and people found it unsettling. I liked Tim, or at least I didn't actively dislike. The trouble was that...
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An Englishman in Texas: July 2014
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An Englishman in Texas. Friday, 25 July 2014. For many years I was certain of it being the power of words which had forged the path by which I and my first ever girlfriend found each other. I initially knew her as the musically gifted and undeniably attractive girlfriend of Jeremy, my oldest friend on the grounds of our having been introduced on my first day at Ilmington C of E Junior and Infants School. Or Holmes and Yoyo. Replies. Possibly my audience had appreciated the drawings of men with large ...
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An Englishman in Texas: Escape Velocity
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An Englishman in Texas. Friday, 24 July 2015. Poor attitude, my. Refusal to listen, my. Inability to respect Marian's innate right to be the forever injured party in any given situation, my. Stubborn refusal to attend expensive self-help workshops held in Leeds by an organisation of dubious qualification. It became exhausting, but I hung in there having decided that it was somehow better than being single. Where have you been? I've been to look at a flat,' I told her. 'It was horrible.'. My hands were fu...
englishmanintx.blogspot.com
An Englishman in Texas: Richard Littledawkins
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An Englishman in Texas. Thursday, 6 August 2015. As Romana brings me my plate of breakfast sausages and a glass of freshly decanted Irn Bru, I turn my attention to this morning's edition of the Daily Record. Tooth fairy. Hasn't he heard of reason or logic? Wrong with the man? What the f* * is he talking about? Hopes and prayers for the child? Prayers to some bloke who doesn't f. Exist, fat lot of f. Exist either, you soppy f. Sings young Aretha, before I put on my make-up, I save a little prayer for you.
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An Englishman in Texas: October 2014
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An Englishman in Texas. Friday, 31 October 2014. The Dark Side of the Moron. KHOU-TV is a Houston television station which hosted this. News item on its website dated to the 18th of June, 2014. WEBSTER, Texas — A Webster man says his apartment complex manager told him his American flag was a threat to the Muslim community, and that he has to take it down. But he's not giving up without a fight. Stepping onto Duy Tran's balcony in Webster, one thing is clear: 'It means a lot to me,' he said. Who made this...
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An Englishman in Texas: September 2014
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An Englishman in Texas. Thursday, 25 September 2014. The Winningest Way to Manage Your Money. In September 2005 I got into a relationship with a female Hobbit who lived in a burrow with a circular wooden door situated off Lordship Lane, East Dulwich. I suppose, were I a better man, I would conceal her true identity by identifying the woman as, for example, Dora the Explorer or Edna Mode from The Incredibles. Sure' I was flattered, except I immediately realised I didn't actually know what I was being aske...
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An Englishman in Texas: April 2015
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An Englishman in Texas. Friday, 24 April 2015. Read on, brethren, and let us consider ourselves schooled. UKIP is definitely not a racialist party. Racialism has no place in the UKIP. The UKIP Party Conference is a lot like the Notting Hill Carnival but with even more reggae and less racialism. As one wanders the conference centre enjoying the cool reggae vibrations of the Police, or the theme music from Stephen Fry's QI. They would blinking well send him away with a flipping flea in his ear! Many of the...
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An Englishman in Texas: February 2015
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An Englishman in Texas. Friday, 27 February 2015. Florence la Petite Goth Français Gênante. Is he a goth? Her friends would ask when they phoned to hear all about the flat and the new boyfriend. I hope you're fine and that the new year has begun good for you. I have pictures of Niall Murphy but they're not very nice 'cause he has red eyes on instead of having two beautiful blue eyes! I hope to see when I'll be to London on February. I'll certainly pass my Birthday in London. Do you want I send yo...Rache...
