bettermyths.com
Little Red Riding Hood is a Dumb Little Girl | Myths RETOLD
http://bettermyths.com/little-red-riding-hood-is-a-dumb-little-girl
YELLING MYTHS AT THE INTERNET. Skip to primary content. Skip to secondary content. WHO WRITES THIS SHIT? Little Red Riding Hood is a Dumb Little Girl. June 5, 2011. If you are not following me on twitter. Then you are missing out on some pretty great Rapunzel themed rap battles. Between me and THE ENTIRE INTERNET. This is not some ploy to get you to follow me on twitter. I don’t actually know what I gain by having you follow me on twitter. ANYWAY LITTLE RED RIDING HOOD. Wait what the fuck is this. And re...
bettermyths.com
Romeo and Juliet Are Doing It Wrong | Myths RETOLD
http://bettermyths.com/romeo-and-juliet-are-doing-it-wrong
YELLING MYTHS AT THE INTERNET. Skip to primary content. Skip to secondary content. WHO WRITES THIS SHIT? Romeo and Juliet Are Doing It Wrong. February 14, 2011. Alright so love right. We already know it makes people do some pretty. But who could have suspected. That the wildest shit of all. Would be done by a couple of thirteen year olds. With ready access to swords and poison. Oh that’s right. But lemme back up real quick. No use skipping to the end. My girlfriend always gets mad at me when i do that.
bettermyths.com
Arabian | Myths RETOLD
http://bettermyths.com/category/mythos/arabian
YELLING MYTHS AT THE INTERNET. Skip to primary content. Skip to secondary content. WHO WRITES THIS SHIT? One Woman’s Daring Journey Through a Labyrinth of Dicks. August 31, 2015. Remember the Arabian nights? They’re the nights with all the stories in them. And most of the stories are about terrible. This one is no exception. It’s called “ the lady and her five suitors. And that title SERIOUSLY UNDERSELLS what’s about to happen. So this chick is married to this dude. Without his wife, I guess. And the pol...
bettermyths.com
Ovid | Myths RETOLD
http://bettermyths.com/author/ovid
YELLING MYTHS AT THE INTERNET. Skip to primary content. Skip to secondary content. WHO WRITES THIS SHIT? June 6, 2016. So, plot twist: As of today, I will no longer be regularly updating Myths Retold. I’ll still post periodically, but the posts will probably look more like this. I’ve re-geared my Patreon. To support my other creative writing projects (including Face a Week. Captain America Isn’t Bi or a Nazi, He’s Just God. May 31, 2016. These plays were a big deal. Getting selected to write, act, or...
bettermyths.com
VIDEOS! | Myths RETOLD
http://bettermyths.com/videos
YELLING MYTHS AT THE INTERNET. Skip to primary content. Skip to secondary content. WHO WRITES THIS SHIT? JESUS CHRIST, JESUS CHRIST (Part 1). GOT TO BE A CHOCOLATE JESUS (Part 2). NOBODY Fucks with the Jesus (Part 3). Microsoft Word keeps autocorrecting Candide to candied (Part 1). Candide is like Candid, but with an E at the end and an entirely different meaning (Part 2). How many deeds can a Candide do if a Candide can do deeds? Any thing you Candide I Candide better (Part 4). Exo is as Exo Dus (Part 3).
bettermyths.com
Sister Fox and Brother Wolf in: What The Hell Did I Just Read? | Myths RETOLD
http://bettermyths.com/sister-fox-and-brother-wolf-in-what-the-hell-did-i-just-read
YELLING MYTHS AT THE INTERNET. Skip to primary content. Skip to secondary content. WHO WRITES THIS SHIT? Sister Fox and Brother Wolf in: What The Hell Did I Just Read? April 13, 2015. So the actual Ilya of Murom. Emailed me the other day. Asking me to do more russian fairytales. And I can’t very well turn down a young murdergod. So here is the kind of story they tell in russia:. Right so there’s this fox. This fox is a terrible person. Like if a dish glove full of garbage juice was a person. And the boys...
bettermyths.com
Where Was This Little Dutch Boy During Katrina? | Myths RETOLD
http://bettermyths.com/where-was-this-little-dutch-boy-during-katrina
YELLING MYTHS AT THE INTERNET. Skip to primary content. Skip to secondary content. WHO WRITES THIS SHIT? Where Was This Little Dutch Boy During Katrina? May 11, 2015. A dutch person emailed me today. And it reminded me of this story. Which is a dutch story. In the same way that “pocahontas” is a native american story. But it’s the first thing I think of when I hear “dutch”. Other than “good weed”. And I am already so high I’m nearing government controlled air space. So THE LITTLE DUTCH BOY IT IS. Because...
bettermyths.com
GEORGE WASHINGTON IS CASH MONEY! | Myths RETOLD
http://bettermyths.com/george-washington-is-cash-money
YELLING MYTHS AT THE INTERNET. Skip to primary content. Skip to secondary content. WHO WRITES THIS SHIT? GEORGE WASHINGTON IS CASH MONEY! I wrote another book. The first one was so rad that I decided to do it again. This one is about the mythology of the US of A. So it’s pretty much just a lot of fluff. Designed to safely contain Teddy Roosevelt’s dick. Like my other book, this one has rad pictures. Drawn by the same rad human who did the first one. And it is also equally throwable. This is probably one ...
bettermyths.com
Death Awaits Us All! | Myths RETOLD
http://bettermyths.com/death-is-a-spaz
YELLING MYTHS AT THE INTERNET. Skip to primary content. Skip to secondary content. WHO WRITES THIS SHIT? Death Awaits Us All! May 18, 2015. So today I was just hanging out. And I was like man. It sure would be cool if I could cheat death. I wonder if there are any stories about that. It turns out there are. There are a ton of stories about that. But this one is better so here it is:. One time in Baghdad. Like, before it was shitty. There was this merchant with loads of dough. He is like “BOSS. Is he gonn...
bettermyths.com
Ilya of Murom Is a Reasonable Man Surrounded by Capricious Wizards | Myths RETOLD
http://bettermyths.com/ilya-of-murom-is-a-reasonable-man-surrounded-by-capricious-wizards
YELLING MYTHS AT THE INTERNET. Skip to primary content. Skip to secondary content. WHO WRITES THIS SHIT? Ilya of Murom Is a Reasonable Man Surrounded by Capricious Wizards. March 30, 2015. So in Russia they have this dude named Ilya. He is a hero to the Russian people. Which makes Russia the only country. As far as I know. To basically worship a dude. Who spent the first 30 years of his life sitting on top of an oven in his mom’s house. For the first three decades of his existence. In disguise of course).
