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Short Funny Story No.: 86

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It Took Me Over 50 Years To Learn. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night. If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race has not achieved, and never will achieve, its full potential, that word would be "meetings.". There is a very fine line between "hobby" and "mental illness.". People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to share yours with them. You should not confuse your career with your life. Though...

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Short Funny Story No.: 89

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Having a Bad Day? Fire authorities in California found a corpse in a burned out section of forest while assessing the damage done by a forest fire. The deceased male was dressed in a full wet suit, complete with scuba tanks on his back, flippers, and face mask. A post-mortem revealed that the person died not from burns, but from massive internal injuries. Dental records provided a positive identification. STILL THINK YOU ARE HAVING A BAD DAY? STILL HAVING A BAD DAY? Just remember, it could be worse.

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Random Funny Story

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Having a Bad Day? Fire authorities in California found a corpse in a burned out section of forest while assessing the damage done by a forest fire. The deceased male was dressed in a full wet suit, complete with scuba tanks on his back, flippers, and face mask. A post-mortem revealed that the person died not from burns, but from massive internal injuries. Dental records provided a positive identification. STILL THINK YOU ARE HAVING A BAD DAY? STILL HAVING A BAD DAY? Just remember, it could be worse.

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Short Funny Story No.: 90

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Like any good mother, when Karen found out that another baby was on the way, she did what she could to help her 3-year old son, Michael, prepare for a new sibling. They find out that the new baby is going to be a girl, and day after day, night after night, Michael sings to his sister in Mommy's tummy. Karen and her husband contact a local cemetery about a burial plot. They have fixed up a special room in their home for the new baby - now they plan a funeral. Week two in intensive care. It looks as if...

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Jokes & Fun - Elderly Jokes

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Jacob age 85, and Rebecca age 79 are all excited about their decision to get married. They go for a stroll to discuss the wedding and on the way go past a drugstore. Jacob suggests that they go in. He addresses the man behind the counter: "Are you the owner? The pharmacist answers, "Yes." Jacob: "Do you sell heart medication? Pharmacist: "Of course we do." Jacob: "How about medicine for circulation? Pharmacist: "All kinds." Jacob: "Medicine for rheumatism? Pharmacist: "Absolutely." Jacob: "Perfect! He sa...

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Jokes & Fun - Blonde Jokes

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A blonde got lost in her car in a snow storm. She remembered what her dad had once told her. "If you ever get stuck in a snow storm, wait for a snow plow and follow it.". Pretty soon a snow plow came by, and she started to follow it. She followed the plow for about forty five minutes. Finally the driver of the truck got out and asked her what she was doing. She explained that her dad had told her if she ever got stuck in the snow, to follow a plow. What do you call a blonde with white eyes? Looking shock...

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Jokes & Fun - Ethnic Jokes

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A Jewish guy in a London hotel calls the operator and asks, in broken English with a heavy Lithuanian-Yiddish accent, for number 266418. A short time later, someone knocks, and when he opens the door he sees 2 beautiful and sexy girls who asked him:. Have you ordered 2 shikses for one night? The interviewer asks. "Earl Grey, hot please." "Hobbies? Polo, racket ball, hunting." "Religion? What would you call an Amish guy with his arm up a horse's ass? Because they don't want to wear out the donkey.

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Jokes & Fun - Computer Jokes

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Greetings, You have just received the "IRISH VIRUS". As we don't have any programming experience, this virus works on the honor system. Please delete all the files on your hard drive manually and forward this virus to everyone on your mailing list. Thank you for your cooperation. Q: How do you keep your husband from reading your e-mail? A: Rename the mail folder to "instruction manuals. 1) Order the T-shirts for the Development team. 3) Write the code. 4) Write the manual. 5) Hire a Product Manager.

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Jokes & Fun - Animal Jokes

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Her friend, deeply concerned, visits her the next day. "Are you hurt? She replies, "Of course I'm hurt! What did the fish say when he hit a concrete wall? Where do you find a no legged dog? Right where you left him. Why do you wrap duct tape around a hamster? So it doesn't explode when you fuck it. A blind man walks into a drug store with his seeing eye dog. He takes the dogs leash and starts swinging it around and around his head. The druggist says "May I help you?

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Jokes & Fun - Criminal Jokes

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An escaped serial killer! American Way of Robbery True Stories of Some of the Dumbest Crooks on Earth:. Editor's Note 1: And they wonder why we call them "Yahoos" .). South Carolina: A man walked into a local police station, dropped a bag of cocaine on the counter, informed the desk sergeant that it was substandard cut, and asked that the person who sold it to him be arrested immediately. A substantial amount of narcotics was found in the golf bag. Arizona: A company called "Guns For Hire" stages gunfigh...