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Most Shared Funny Short Stories. Best Funny Short Stories. Fantasy Funny Short Stories. Funny Short Stories with Animals. I stubbed out my cigarette in a plate of half eaten french fries and gazed at my waitress with a look I hoped she interpreted as disgust. I blew the smoke out in her face and said, “What? She wiped a hand across her perspiring forehead then placed her hands on her hips. “You cannot smoke in here. How many times do I have to tell you? 8220;You were.”. 8220;Well how about that? He dragg...

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Most Shared Funny Short Stories. Best Funny Short Stories. Fantasy Funny Short Stories. Funny Short Stories with Animals. I stubbed out my cigarette in a plate of half eaten french fries and gazed at my waitress with a look I hoped she interpreted as disgust. I blew the smoke out in her face and said, “What? She wiped a hand across her perspiring forehead then placed her hands on her hips. “You cannot smoke in here. How many times do I have to tell you? 8220;You were.”. 8220;Well how about that? He dragg...

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Funny in Five Hundred | funnyinfivehundred.com Reviews

https://funnyinfivehundred.com

Most Shared Funny Short Stories. Best Funny Short Stories. Fantasy Funny Short Stories. Funny Short Stories with Animals. I stubbed out my cigarette in a plate of half eaten french fries and gazed at my waitress with a look I hoped she interpreted as disgust. I blew the smoke out in her face and said, “What? She wiped a hand across her perspiring forehead then placed her hands on her hips. “You cannot smoke in here. How many times do I have to tell you? 8220;You were.”. 8220;Well how about that? He dragg...

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You Want to Sell Me a What? | Funny in Five Hundred

http://www.funnyinfivehundred.com/2016/05/you-want-to-sell-me-what.html

You Want to Sell Me a What? May 16, 2016. 70-year-old woman, sitting and reading. Phone rings. She answers.). Yes, this is Ms. Idontwantany. Well, I would be fine except I just had foot surgery, I'm drowsy from the anesthesia, and it hurts like hell. I need to go to the bathroom, but it hurts too bad to walk. Yes, sir. I hope I feel better too. Did you want something? What do you have that will make me feel better? You're selling widgets, you say? How will that make me feel better? That should be downstr...

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Authors | Funny in Five Hundred

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Ariela L. Zucker. Ellen J. Perry. Linda M. Crate. Margaret C. Strunkel. Michael C. Keith. Michael J. Moran. Robert L. Martin. Roman R. Orozco. Subscribe to: Posts ( Atom ). Dating is cool, but how cool is free humor flash fiction sent right to your email? That's not all you'll get:. Book deals and giveaways,. You Want to Sell Me a What? 70-year-old woman, sitting and reading. Phone rings. She answers.) Hello. (pause) Yes, this is Ms. Idontwantany. (pause) . Who ordered them, aye sisters? FunnyinFiveHundr...

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The Manchurian Look-Alike | Funny in Five Hundred

http://www.funnyinfivehundred.com/2016/10/funny-short-stories-the-manchurian-look-alike.html

October 20, 2016. Our family went to a barbeque at a friend’s home where the huge back porch overlooked a child friendly playground. Rue ran off to the swings. I was just filling my plate when I heard phrases like, “Make her stop! Rue is gross – just gross! Sharon Witt is a nationally licensed embalmer and preacher’s wife. That’s an unusual background for a writer! She is also a college professor. She and her husband, DeWayne, have one biological daughter and two adopted children. I knew I was in for a d...

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Subscribe to our E-Newsletter! | Funny in Five Hundred

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Subscribe to our E-Newsletter! Dating is cool, but how cool is free humor flash fiction sent right to your email? That's not all you'll get:. Stay in-the-know for humor fiction contests,. Book deals and giveaways,. Subscribe to: Posts ( Atom ). Dating is cool, but how cool is free humor flash fiction sent right to your email? That's not all you'll get:. Book deals and giveaways,. You Want to Sell Me a What? As a woman, I know what it’s like to live in a man’s world. Oh, men! Who ordered them, aye sisters?

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The Bottom Line | Funny in Five Hundred

http://www.funnyinfivehundred.com/2016/10/funny-short-stories-the-bottom-line.html

October 06, 2016. 8220;What is it Marvin? 8220;That human ritual known as payday has arrived.”. 8220;Ah yes. So the humans will all be getting dreadfully sick and fighting each other by early this morning.”. 8220;Yes quite. I bought us a television. I thought we could see what all the fuss is about.”. 8220;Oh what fun.”. 8220;Do you need some help? 8220;Excuse me, back on Mars who drives the ship? 8220;You.”. 8220;Who fixed it when you spilled something green and bubbly all over the controls? 8220;It can...

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authormarketinginstitute.com

Discounting eBooks with Ferol Vernon of Freebooksy.com | Author Marketing Institute

http://authormarketinginstitute.com/discounting-books-with-ferol-vernon-of-freebooksy-com

Discounting eBooks with Ferol Vernon of Freebooksy.com. We sat down with Ferol Vernon of FreeBooksy.com. To talk about the business and practice of discounting eBooks and discovery. Direct MP3 download here. We love to read but we got tired of spending hours on the internet looking for good free ebooks to read. That’s why we created Freebooksy. To make it quick and easy to find those great reads. Posted in Author Marketing. The 7-Step Plan to Grow Your Author Network. Share this episode with a friend:.

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Author Services with Shari Stauch of WhereWritersWin.com | Author Marketing Institute

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Author Services with Shari Stauch of WhereWritersWin.com. Here’s an interview with did with Shari Stauch of WhereWritersWin.com. Download the MP3 here. Posted in Author Marketing. The 6 Steps of the Author Marketing Funnel. 4 Money Mistakes All Authors Make →. Listen to the most recent podcast episode! Your browser does not support the audio element. Book Discoverability with Ferol Vernon of Freebooksy. Share this episode with a friend:. Podcast Episode from Author Marketing Institute. This is the link:.

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AMI Team | Author Marketing Institute

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Want More Five Star Amazon Reviews For Your Book? Posted by AMI Team. It’s pretty simple, you need to find actual Amazon reviewers who are ready, willing and able to review your book. So how do you do that? The easiest, and fastest way is to use the Author Marketing Club Amazon Reviewer Grabber Tool. Watch the video below to learn how it works. Posted in Author Marketing. How To Get Your Book Discovered With Ferol Vernon Of Written Word Media. Posted by AMI Team. Or as you may know his site Freebooksy.

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Share Your Expertise With The World – Join Our Author Marketing Network | Author Marketing Institute

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Share Your Expertise With The World – Join Our Author Marketing Network. Share Your Expertise With The World – Join Our Author Marketing Network. We’re currently looking for successful authors to join our network. Are you an author who has something to say or teach? Maybe you’re a successful Romance author who always wanted to do your own podcast? Or a non-fiction author who can teach a course on book writing and selling? More exposure for you and your books! Listen to the most recent podcast episode!

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Author Marketing Pages (Book Landing Page Builder) | Author Marketing Institute

http://authormarketinginstitute.com/author-marketing-pages-book-landing-page-builder

Author Marketing Pages (Book Landing Page Builder). We’re pleased to announce our latest author marketing tool called Author Marketing Pages. It’s a web-based wysiwyg tool that allows you to create a beautiful book landing page in minutes, without any web design skills or html knowledge required. Watch the video below for a demo of how it works. When you’re ready to sign up, just head on over to AuthorMarketingPages.com. Why Do I Need This As An Author? Add your Author Marketing Page to places like:.

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Non-Fiction | Author Marketing Institute

http://authormarketinginstitute.com/non-fiction

A book is the best business card you will ever have. There’s no better way to say it really. If you want to boost your credibility and grow your sales and leads and your career, you must have a book that shows off your expertise. You know this. You know you’ve been meaning to write a great book that drives new leads and a funnel of new, excited customers. The problem is you just don’t know how to get it done, and you don’t think you can find the time. Ready to learn more and get started writing your book?

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The 6 Steps of the Author Marketing Funnel | Author Marketing Institute

http://authormarketinginstitute.com/the-6-steps-of-the-author-marketing-funnel

The 6 Steps of the Author Marketing Funnel. In a recent post on Digital Book World, Biztegra founder Murray Izenwasser discussed the ideal customer funnel for publishers. Image from https:/ www.mediaplatform.com/site/2014/12/tips-enhancing-discoverability-video-content/. Most of the money spent by indie authors is on discoverability. Image from http:/ www.theguardian.com/books/2012/may/02/rise-ebook-sales-decline-print-titles. Contrary to the belief of most publishers, the marketing funnel doesn’t ...

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Author Reviews with Kristina Radke of Netgalley | Author Marketing Institute

http://authormarketinginstitute.com/author-reviews-with-kristina-radke-of-netgalley

Author Reviews with Kristina Radke of Netgalley. We sat down with Kristina Radke of Netgalley. To talk about the business of publishing and book reviews. Direct MP3 download here. NetGalley is an innovative and easy-to-use online service and connection point for book publishers, reviewers, media, librarians, booksellers, bloggers and educators. NetGalley is a division of Firebrand Technologies, a leading provider of publishing technologies, services and solutions. Posted in Author Marketing. I found this...

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AMI Board | Author Marketing Institute

http://authormarketinginstitute.com/ami-board

The Author Marketing Institute (AMI) is pleased to acknowledge the following board members. These individuals continue to work to advance the practice of author marketing around the globe through expert services and training of authors. Derek Murphy ( @creativindie. Bryan Cohen ( @bryancohenbooks. Is an actor, freelance writer, author and an occasional game show contestant. He has written over 30 books, which have sold more than 30,000 copies. His newest book is. Ted Saves the World. J Thorn ( @jthorn.

authormarketinginstitute.com

Joanna Penn & Mark Lefebvre Talk Author Success & Networking | Author Marketing Institute

http://authormarketinginstitute.com/joanna-penn-mark-lefebvre-talk-author-success-networking

Joanna Penn & Mark Lefebvre Talk Author Success & Networking. In this special Author Marketing Podcast we sit down with Authorpreneur Joanna Penn. Mark Lefevbre to talk about author success. Direct MP3 download here. Or listen by clicking play below:. Posted in Author Marketing. Discounting eBooks with Ferol Vernon of Freebooksy.com. 5 Ways to Brace Yourself For the Harsh Truths of the Author Career →. Http:/ www.amazon.com/Michael-N.-Marcus/e/B002BOH4FM/ mnmarcus. Share this episode with a friend:.

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Monday, February 14, 2011. I-raynians Need Not Apply. Page 118- "Our work ethic and obsession with education makes us almost ideal citizens. Nobody asked our opinion of whether the hostages should be taken, and yet every single Iranian in America was paying the price. One kid throws a spitball and the whole class gets detention.". Page 117- "Vendors started selling T-shirts and bumper stickers that said 'Iranians Go Home' and 'Wanted: Iranians, for Target Practice'. I ran and I ran and I ran. Page 113-11...

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Thursday, March 25, 2010. Only one word describes their children in English, "cousin," whereas in Persian, we have eight words to describe the exact relationship of each cousin.". This quote shows that extended family may be more important in other cultures than in America. While family is important here, most don't seem to see their extended family as much as Firoozah or Sundara. I actually would like it if I saw my extended family more like they do. America, Land of the Free. During our Thanksgiving me...

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Thursday, February 3, 2011. The stories were interesting the first fourteen times, but beyond that, they became the equivalent of the neighbor's vacation slides showing the cathedrals of France from all angles.". He eventually decided that perhaps if he yelled or hurled insults, I might learn more quickly.This method may work wonders int he army, but it didn't work with me.". Wednesday, February 2, 2011. A Dozen Key Chains. That's not always completely true in America, but random acts definitely stick wi...

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Funny in Farsi

Monday, March 8, 2010. I-raynians Need Not Apply. 8220;Throughout his job ordeal, my father never complained. He remained an Iranian who loved his native country but who also believed in American ideals. He only said how sad it was that people easily hate an entire population simply because of the actions of a few. And what a waste it is to hate, he always said. What a waste.”. It’s All Relatives. America, Land of the Free. How about some instant soup, ice-cream sandwiches, spaghetti sauce, pork buns?

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Funny in Five Hundred

Most Shared Funny Short Stories. Best Funny Short Stories. Fantasy Funny Short Stories. Funny Short Stories with Animals. I stubbed out my cigarette in a plate of half eaten french fries and gazed at my waitress with a look I hoped she interpreted as disgust. I blew the smoke out in her face and said, “What? She wiped a hand across her perspiring forehead then placed her hands on her hips. “You cannot smoke in here. How many times do I have to tell you? 8220;You were.”. 8220;Well how about that? He dragg...

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