available-url.blogspot.com
something clever: Google Poetry
http://available-url.blogspot.com/2013/10/google-poetry.html
Monday, October 7, 2013. If the site can do everything else, why not art. I transcribed this beautiful freeform masterpiece from our very own all-seeing search engine. We call it: Google. Magazine Street breads on the weather. Underground railroad jobs hiring. Flight tracker boats for sale. Or fab five guys towing games. Film noir furniture mart of monsters. University tools direct tv guide to kill. Your next food network solutions. Catalog choice hotels in register. Me gusta vs angel prints.
available-url.blogspot.com
something clever: January 2010
http://available-url.blogspot.com/2010_01_01_archive.html
Friday, January 15, 2010. I saw The Hurt Locker the other day and discovered that, not only is it not about a method of high school torture, but it is in fact a powerful and exciting movie. What amazed me the most about the subject matter was the way that these men kept their heads about them in situations where the exact opposite was likely to happen. Well today, I learned the answer to that question. Well, these cakes are popular in Baton Rouge and when Sexy (remember her? I would have to hold the bag ...
available-url.blogspot.com
something clever: Je Suis Jean Penn
http://available-url.blogspot.com/2010/03/je-suis-jean-penn.html
Tuesday, March 16, 2010. Je Suis Jean Penn. First conversation: Stranger's camera is not operational. Stranger: Hi Sean Penn. Me: I've gotten that before. Stranger: I saw you on Bill Maher last night. You looked pissed. Second conversation: Stranger is a teenage (looking) girl. Stranger: Are you French. Me: No. Just the haircut. Would you have stayed if I was French? Me: So, what'd you think of Avatar. Stranger (reaching over with one hand): What? Stranger (dropping dick for two hand type): WTF? So, in c...
available-url.blogspot.com
something clever: iPood
http://available-url.blogspot.com/2010/03/ipood.html
Friday, March 19, 2010. I recently bought an iPod home for the back of my toilet, so that now I can listen to music while I take showers. Then, the other day while defecating, I had a great idea. Before I go into it though, I want to patent my other great idea, the toilet app for the iphone, so that I can sue Apple when they inevitably create it. It would be horribly disappointing if the music ended and I was still on number 1 of 2. I suppose I would have to find some way to connect the flush to the ...
available-url.blogspot.com
something clever: April 2013
http://available-url.blogspot.com/2013_04_01_archive.html
Saturday, April 27, 2013. I always walk on eggshells (brown and white ones in an equal mix) whenever race comes into any conversation. I hate when a friend says, ‘this black lady at the gas station was blah blah blahing’. Then another friend says, ‘why’d she have to be black? Now maybe that’s racist or maybe it isn’t, but either way it makes me self-conscious about my own potentially insensitive statements. Well, he was the thin, bald black guy with a British accent who dealt with explosives.’. I’d...
available-url.blogspot.com
something clever: February 2009
http://available-url.blogspot.com/2009_02_01_archive.html
Tuesday, February 17, 2009. So, I haven't posted in a while because I've been busy. Here's some proof: Attempted Plagiarism. Except that it isn't proof because we shot it in two days and edited it in one. By the way, the front of the DVDs are legible in the HD format but hurrah for youtube and it's inadequate specs. If you had trouble following the film, ask me in a comment and I'll tell you what the DVDs were. Oh, and before I desert you again, let me address a popular subject. Nick at a Loss. No go...
available-url.blogspot.com
something clever: October 2009
http://available-url.blogspot.com/2009_10_01_archive.html
Tuesday, October 6, 2009. Gleaned from the mind of. Subscribe to: Posts (Atom). David Bush will likely become one of the defining figures of the 21st century. He is incredibly interesting, has a bloated sense of self-importance, and wrote the 'About the Author' section himself. View my complete profile. Once You're Tired of This. The Gospel According to Marc. Etiquette for an Apocalypse. Nick at a Loss. Much to Say About Nothing. Candy cane colored compadres. Content Orangutan Tooth Platoon.
available-url.blogspot.com
something clever: February 2010
http://available-url.blogspot.com/2010_02_01_archive.html
Friday, February 26, 2010. My good deed for the day was finally returning my long overdue library books (on tape: what kind of a schmuck reads these days? This wasn't completely fine with me, but it was halfway there, so I paid it. And thus did the public library on Alafaya become the single most profitable government subsidiary this week. Gleaned from the mind of. Thursday, February 25, 2010. Once Upon a Crime. How do you go to Cleveland? My point is, owners of 'Once Upon a Child,' maybe you should have...
available-url.blogspot.com
something clever: Marshall Matters
http://available-url.blogspot.com/2013/09/marshall-matters.html
Sunday, September 22, 2013. If I’m over-reacting, I’m doing it as a copycat crime, mimicking with minimal flattery, the endless over-reaction of apparently everyone on TV and radio to any terrible event that could inspire copy-cattery. But what am I talking about? We have to leave twenty minutes earlier to get on a plane, and that scene in every Romantic Comedy has been shifted to the security line instead of the airplane doors. Great news for extras everywhere. Bad news for the guy that just had...If a ...
