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Story by Schneider

You Literally Have Nothing Better To Do. Tuesday, December 14, 2010. 8220;Now serving G-101 at window number eighteen. G-101.". Oh good. I’m G-174. So only 73 people ahead of me. I might make it home in time for Conan tonight. 8221; I hilariously ask. She doesn’t respond at all. ”…I always carry some with me….” More loud silence. “Anyway… I’m number G-174, do you have any idea about how long I’ll be here? I’ve been driving with an expired license for the past 180 days or so. Sometimes drunk, so...Oh, the...

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Story by Schneider | storybyschneider.blogspot.com Reviews
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You Literally Have Nothing Better To Do. Tuesday, December 14, 2010. 8220;Now serving G-101 at window number eighteen. G-101.. Oh good. I’m G-174. So only 73 people ahead of me. I might make it home in time for Conan tonight. 8221; I hilariously ask. She doesn’t respond at all. ”…I always carry some with me….” More loud silence. “Anyway… I’m number G-174, do you have any idea about how long I’ll be here? I’ve been driving with an expired license for the past 180 days or so. Sometimes drunk, so...Oh, the...
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Story by Schneider | storybyschneider.blogspot.com Reviews

https://storybyschneider.blogspot.com

You Literally Have Nothing Better To Do. Tuesday, December 14, 2010. 8220;Now serving G-101 at window number eighteen. G-101.". Oh good. I’m G-174. So only 73 people ahead of me. I might make it home in time for Conan tonight. 8221; I hilariously ask. She doesn’t respond at all. ”…I always carry some with me….” More loud silence. “Anyway… I’m number G-174, do you have any idea about how long I’ll be here? I’ve been driving with an expired license for the past 180 days or so. Sometimes drunk, so...Oh, the...

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storybyschneider.blogspot.com storybyschneider.blogspot.com
1

Story by Schneider: MInd over Manners - Part Too

http://storybyschneider.blogspot.com/2010/05/mind-over-manners-part-too.html

You Literally Have Nothing Better To Do. Tuesday, May 11, 2010. MInd over Manners - Part Too. How cute is my baby? Look at this picture and say my baby’s cute because that’s what you’re supposed to do when I show you a picture of my baby. 8220;You’re baby’s fucking ugly, now leave me alone.”. Wait, what do you mean? 8220;What do you mean – what do I mean? 8220;You think my baby’s ugly? 8220;Yeah. Don’t you? I mean I understand she’s your daughter, but try to look at it objectively.”. 8220;Am I joking?

2

Story by Schneider: MInd over Manners

http://storybyschneider.blogspot.com/2010/05/mind-over-manners.html

You Literally Have Nothing Better To Do. Tuesday, May 4, 2010. I always try to do the right thing in life like a good little boy. I follow all the rules and get in line like the next person, but the truth is, I hate doing it. Having good manners is annoying. It gets in the way of that thing called life. 8220;Go ahead, eat”. You know what would be cool? 8220;What the hell did you even order anyway? THEY WERE HERE AFTER US! Somehow I feel like you’re responsible. I mean,? 8220;Do you want the last piece?

3

Story by Schneider: Shoot Me

http://storybyschneider.blogspot.com/2010/09/shoot-me.html

You Literally Have Nothing Better To Do. Monday, September 27, 2010. Going on vacation with someone who just bought a brand new camera can be a real treat. 8220;Oh that’s interesting ( snap. 8221; “How cool is that telephone pole? 8221; “Hey it’s been three minutes since I’ve taken a picture I should probably take another picture ( snap. 8221; I’m gonna fuckin snap ( SNAP. They say a picture’s worth a thousand words but to me it’s worth just one: “STOP! It’s water, what are you a fuckin martian? I should...

4

Story by Schneider: Cheap Ass Motherfuckers

http://storybyschneider.blogspot.com/2010/06/cheap-ass-motherfuckers.html

You Literally Have Nothing Better To Do. Sunday, June 20, 2010. My Nana Ruthie used to take me to the movie theater when I was a little boy and after she paid for our movie tickets using her senior citizen discount to save a dollar fifty, we would rush into the theater without a chance to do my favorite thing: stop at the concession stand. Back then popcorn was only three bucks, Nana! I wouldn’t realize this was actually torture until I slept there for the first time. Their house was five hundr...You wou...

5

Story by Schneider: The DMV

http://storybyschneider.blogspot.com/2010/12/dmv.html

You Literally Have Nothing Better To Do. Tuesday, December 14, 2010. 8220;Now serving G-101 at window number eighteen. G-101.". Oh good. I’m G-174. So only 73 people ahead of me. I might make it home in time for Conan tonight. 8221; I hilariously ask. She doesn’t respond at all. ”…I always carry some with me….” More loud silence. “Anyway… I’m number G-174, do you have any idea about how long I’ll be here? I’ve been driving with an expired license for the past 180 days or so. Sometimes drunk, so...Oh, the...

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You Literally Have Nothing Better To Do. Tuesday, December 14, 2010. 8220;Now serving G-101 at window number eighteen. G-101.". Oh good. I’m G-174. So only 73 people ahead of me. I might make it home in time for Conan tonight. 8221; I hilariously ask. She doesn’t respond at all. ”…I always carry some with me….” More loud silence. “Anyway… I’m number G-174, do you have any idea about how long I’ll be here? I’ve been driving with an expired license for the past 180 days or so. Sometimes drunk, so...Oh, the...

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