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1

The Big Pickle News: Elf in 'poor health' due to long working hours.

https://thebigpicklenews.blogspot.com/2016/12/elf-in-poor-health-due-to-long-working.html

Wednesday, 7 December 2016. Elf in 'poor health' due to long working hours. Elf on the Shelf', the Elf recruitment agency, has complained of 'unfair' working conditions that their elves are increasingly operating under. The Trade unions, such as Candy Care and Santa's Specials, have been drawing up new contract guidelines which may well lead to strikes if they are not adhered to by Santas Inc (the institution which employs these elf actors and actresses). How can I be original on zero hours sleep? Stupid...

2

The Big Pickle News: ASDA FIASCO caused by toddler playing with smart phone.

https://thebigpicklenews.blogspot.com/2016/10/asda-fiasco-caused-by-toddler-playing.html

Monday, 31 October 2016. ASDA FIASCO caused by toddler playing with smart phone. Yesterday, hundreds of ASDA stores were brought into chaos as card machines froze and tills shut down. THE BIG PICKLE NEWS can exclusively reveal that it was caused by the I.T Services Director falling asleep and leaving his smart phone (with all its system controls) in the hands of his two year old son. Said his mum, 'I took the phone off him just in time. The water jets in every ASDA store were about to go off! Nevertheles...

3

The Big Pickle News: October 2016

https://thebigpicklenews.blogspot.com/2016_10_01_archive.html

Monday, 31 October 2016. ASDA FIASCO caused by toddler playing with smart phone. Yesterday, hundreds of ASDA stores were brought into chaos as card machines froze and tills shut down. THE BIG PICKLE NEWS can exclusively reveal that it was caused by the I.T Services Director falling asleep and leaving his smart phone (with all its system controls) in the hands of his two year old son. Said his mum, 'I took the phone off him just in time. The water jets in every ASDA store were about to go off! Nevertheles...

4

The Big Pickle News: Cakes and happiness banned from the workplace.

https://thebigpicklenews.blogspot.com/2017/01/cakes-and-happiness-banned-from.html

Wednesday, 4 January 2017. Cakes and happiness banned from the workplace. Today, the Health Minister has stated that all cakes and sugary foods will be 'banned' from offices where any type of 'business activity' is taking place. This new initiative has sent 'shock waves' across the big companies and financial markets in London. One FTSE expert stated, 'not having the office cakes will have serious consequences- low morale can devastate productivity.'. However, Delia Smith and Mary Berry have joined force...

5

The Big Pickle News: Man goes 'berserk' when neighbour blocks his Christmas reindeer.

https://thebigpicklenews.blogspot.com/2016/12/man-goes-berserk-when-neighbour-blocks.html

Monday, 12 December 2016. Man goes 'berserk' when neighbour blocks his Christmas reindeer. A thirty-year-old father wants to press charges against a neighbour who parked in front of his Christmas reindeer. For several weeks there have been 'evils' exchanged between the two neighbours but tensions heightened when the neighbour- who can not be named for legal reasons- parked his car right in front of the man's front lawn. That reindeer was supposed to cheer people up! Shopping centres are filled with men!

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