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the river times

Sunday, August 21, 2016. One day when the baby was a week old I went to buy a nursing bra. Ten years later, I say what was I thinking? I grieved what I had done to the little baby, the sin of giving her life. I grieved the world. The world was just an innocent little thing in the vast unconscionable space. I contemplated the space, and knew it all: it was too much to know. All I had in reply was grief. I could write this forever. Thursday, March 3, 2016. More than a half-birthday later! Nine years later,...

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the river times | therivertimes.blogspot.com Reviews
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Sunday, August 21, 2016. One day when the baby was a week old I went to buy a nursing bra. Ten years later, I say what was I thinking? I grieved what I had done to the little baby, the sin of giving her life. I grieved the world. The world was just an innocent little thing in the vast unconscionable space. I contemplated the space, and knew it all: it was too much to know. All I had in reply was grief. I could write this forever. Thursday, March 3, 2016. More than a half-birthday later! Nine years later,...
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1 the river times
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3 anna
4 no comments
5 half
6 with relative strangers
7 it and experience
8 nine
9 solstice
10 nobody knows
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the river times | therivertimes.blogspot.com Reviews

https://therivertimes.blogspot.com

Sunday, August 21, 2016. One day when the baby was a week old I went to buy a nursing bra. Ten years later, I say what was I thinking? I grieved what I had done to the little baby, the sin of giving her life. I grieved the world. The world was just an innocent little thing in the vast unconscionable space. I contemplated the space, and knew it all: it was too much to know. All I had in reply was grief. I could write this forever. Thursday, March 3, 2016. More than a half-birthday later! Nine years later,...

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therivertimes.blogspot.com therivertimes.blogspot.com
1

the river times: August 2015

http://therivertimes.blogspot.com/2015_08_01_archive.html

Saturday, August 22, 2015. When you have a baby you are on a life raft and there has been a shipwreck. You have survived. There is nothing but horizon. The sun is always directly overhead. Nine years later, you will look back on your time in the raft and think, the sea was eternally flat. There was only stillness and stillness. There was a globe of stillness and quiet, and me. But at the time, you were sure you were going to die. Subscribe to: Posts (Atom). You could read my other blog.

2

the river times: March 2013

http://therivertimes.blogspot.com/2013_03_01_archive.html

Thursday, March 7, 2013. No, I had merely caught a smile; she was ambivalent about her first day just like you’re supposed to be. Is she ambivalent still? Probably. Are we happy that we put her there? I can only imagine the door-slamming, the lusting. I can only imagine the fetishistic value River's merest garbage will take on in the eyes of her wee sisters. Wait, that's only almost true; I have. I don't think my maternal bias could compromise my vision that much? No, really. At any rate, it's a pare...

3

the river times: nine

http://therivertimes.blogspot.com/2015/08/nine.html

Saturday, August 22, 2015. When you have a baby you are on a life raft and there has been a shipwreck. You have survived. There is nothing but horizon. The sun is always directly overhead. Nine years later, you will look back on your time in the raft and think, the sea was eternally flat. There was only stillness and stillness. There was a globe of stillness and quiet, and me. But at the time, you were sure you were going to die. Subscribe to: Post Comments (Atom). You could read my other blog.

4

the river times: September 2012

http://therivertimes.blogspot.com/2012_09_01_archive.html

Wednesday, September 19, 2012. I'm writing it. This is a placeholder. Tuesday, September 18, 2012. River is six years old. Her birthday was almost a month ago now, and at the time I thought, huh, it looks like I'm getting used to the fact that I'm a mother. Huh, I thought: I can handle this, I can handle the coming and going of August 22. Well, and I did! So some of the things I didn't get crushed under the weight of on August 22 came flying down to earth that day. I suddenly was unstuck in time agai...

5

the river times: January 2014

http://therivertimes.blogspot.com/2014_01_01_archive.html

Wednesday, January 29, 2014. Just about five months ago, River turned seven, which means she will turn eight in just about the same amount of time. Two blog posts a year, about the girl who used to dominate my writing life as well as my waking life? Whose every eyelash-blink was documented, whose every minute on earth was observed like a sacred rite? Sure, maybe, I don't know. To me? But what is nothing? And ended up addressing her ("What colour is your mucous? River is one of my best friends, and I don'...

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Mother Outlaws | Doulamama's Weblog

https://doulamama.wordpress.com/2009/01/27/mother-outlaws

January 27, 2009 at 4:01 pm ( Uncategorized. Last night we had our first Mother Outlaws meeting. In case you are not familiar with Mother Outlaws it is a group based out of Toronto, connected with the Association for Research on Mothering. Some future topics of discussion:. Nuclear family – challenges/alternatives. 8220;Good mothering”. Women’s empowerment of their own bodies. Gender roles – gender polarity. Isolation, depression, mental health of mother. January 27, 2009 at 4:21 pm. You inspire ME. ...

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Election 2008 and International Maternal Mortality | Doulamama's Weblog

https://doulamama.wordpress.com/2008/10/13/election-2008-and-international-maternal-mortality

Election 2008 and International Maternal Mortality. October 13, 2008 at 10:48 pm ( Uncategorized. Ahhh…but life has a way of bringing us perspective. I just received s story from the Washington Post about a mother who died in childbirth in Sierra Leone and that states that the maternal mortality rate in Sierra Leone is 1 in 8! How does that happen? Fatmata’s story is heartbreaking and unbelievable in that it happens to other women over and over again. Here is the link to the article. October 18, 2008 at ...

bothshallrow.blogspot.com bothshallrow.blogspot.com

both shall row: May 2013

http://bothshallrow.blogspot.com/2013_05_01_archive.html

April 27: In a few days, Kali will be three. I am. You could read my other blog. Or you could read this one. Wednesday, May 1, 2013. I recall an evening in April 2010 when River and Matt watched a movie inside while I fastidiously cleaned all the toys on the porch with soapy water. The sun set and the robins twordled and my fingers froze and I madly cleaned the uncleanable outside junk. Kali was days away. But if it wasn’t? If how you’re born matters? I had dark purple bruises all over my back from where...

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both shall row: November 2016

http://bothshallrow.blogspot.com/2016_11_01_archive.html

Six and a half. You could read my other blog. Or you could read this one. Saturday, November 19, 2016. Six and a half. Subscribe to: Posts (Atom).

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both shall row: January 2012

http://bothshallrow.blogspot.com/2012_01_01_archive.html

Kali, the baby, now has a baby sister. This means. You could read my other blog. Or you could read this one. Wednesday, January 11, 2012. She comments, when it's over. Then she says, "More boob! And looks at me with a twinkle in her eye. For she really has a twinkle in her eye, this kid. It flashes like a diamond. When she's nursing, which she does all the time, now that my milk has come in (this is Mae's gift to Kali), she gazes at me with her flashing brown eyes. How can brown be so bright?

bothshallrow.blogspot.com bothshallrow.blogspot.com

both shall row: November 2015

http://bothshallrow.blogspot.com/2015_11_01_archive.html

You could read my other blog. Or you could read this one. Sunday, November 29, 2015. More than six months: bad mother, or just bad blogger? Well, ask Kali in 20 years, I guess. Kali, I'm sorry there aren't more posts about you (or your sisters! This morning, I licked you and Mae as you writhed on the bed. You were tiger cubs and I was the mummy tiger, and I was instructed to lick you, and so I did, and did you know that I licked each one of the three of you when you were born? Subscribe to: Posts (Atom).

bothshallrow.blogspot.com bothshallrow.blogspot.com

both shall row: December 2014

http://bothshallrow.blogspot.com/2014_12_01_archive.html

You could read my other blog. Or you could read this one. Wednesday, December 31, 2014. This is a post for all three of my girls; the same one goes on all their blogs. It's new year's eve, and the unsavory year of 2014 is about to put itself out of its misery. This year, my children's maternal step-grandfather-in-law, Robby, died. This year, my children's maternal great-grandmother, Granny Gerte, died. This year, my children's paternal great-grandmother, Old Gramma, died. This is the linchpin question in...

bothshallrow.blogspot.com bothshallrow.blogspot.com

both shall row: September 2011

http://bothshallrow.blogspot.com/2011_09_01_archive.html

Wee Kali is sixteen months old. Last night, she t. You could read my other blog. Or you could read this one. Friday, September 2, 2011. Wee Kali is sixteen months old. Last night, she treated us to one of her confounding specialties: she got both of us up, at 3:00am, for two hours. This should be a bad thing, right? Kali walks now. She's been at it for a few weeks, but there hasn't really been a monumental "she walks! Moment yet, nor a discernible first step. Is there ever? Subscribe to: Posts (Atom).

bothshallrow.blogspot.com bothshallrow.blogspot.com

both shall row: April 2016

http://bothshallrow.blogspot.com/2016_04_01_archive.html

You could read my other blog. Or you could read this one. Saturday, April 30, 2016. Kali is in school and I can't tell if she likes it or not. She says she does. She gets up and gets dressed and puts up no resistance about going. She hugs me goodbye in a heartfelt but not-clingy way. I pick her up at noon and ask her how school was and she invariably answers "great! Subscribe to: Posts (Atom).

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the river times

Sunday, August 21, 2016. One day when the baby was a week old I went to buy a nursing bra. Ten years later, I say what was I thinking? I grieved what I had done to the little baby, the sin of giving her life. I grieved the world. The world was just an innocent little thing in the vast unconscionable space. I contemplated the space, and knew it all: it was too much to know. All I had in reply was grief. I could write this forever. Thursday, March 3, 2016. More than a half-birthday later! Nine years later,...

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