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the road to winter

The road to winter. February 13, 2015. March 17, 2015. I don’t know where to start with this so I guess I’ll start at the beginning. Reading back over my last few posts I can see I was starting to fall. At the time though I didn’t recognise the signs. How could I not? They were almost the same as before. Only this time it seemed to happen much quicker. My drinking had been steadily increasing, ‘controlled’ I told myself. What is controlled about cracking open a can at 8am? That was my cue. My trigger.

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The road to winter. February 13, 2015. March 17, 2015. I don’t know where to start with this so I guess I’ll start at the beginning. Reading back over my last few posts I can see I was starting to fall. At the time though I didn’t recognise the signs. How could I not? They were almost the same as before. Only this time it seemed to happen much quicker. My drinking had been steadily increasing, ‘controlled’ I told myself. What is controlled about cracking open a can at 8am? That was my cue. My trigger.
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the road to winter | theroadtowinter.wordpress.com Reviews

https://theroadtowinter.wordpress.com

The road to winter. February 13, 2015. March 17, 2015. I don’t know where to start with this so I guess I’ll start at the beginning. Reading back over my last few posts I can see I was starting to fall. At the time though I didn’t recognise the signs. How could I not? They were almost the same as before. Only this time it seemed to happen much quicker. My drinking had been steadily increasing, ‘controlled’ I told myself. What is controlled about cracking open a can at 8am? That was my cue. My trigger.

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theroadtowinter.wordpress.com theroadtowinter.wordpress.com
1

Blank screen – the road to winter

https://theroadtowinter.wordpress.com/2015/01/27/blank-screen

The road to winter. January 27, 2015. January 27, 2015. Trying to focus on work but my mind keeps drifting. These last few weeks have been really hard, I’m trying to not fall but it feels like the handholds I have in my pit keep disintegrating as soon as I touch them and I slip further down the hole. And then I feel that that is not the answer and I berate myself for thinking that way – which brings me down again. It’s a continuous cycle and I hate it. This all makes me sound like some needy attention, s...

2

Not long now – the road to winter

https://theroadtowinter.wordpress.com/2015/01/27/not-long-now

The road to winter. January 27, 2015. Ok, I’ve decided, I am not strong enough to deal with this any more. I fucking hate myself. I fucking hate what I have become and I fucking hate what I am doing to my family. I am an alcoholic. I am full of hate. I am a complete failure in everything I do. I cannot deal with this any more. I am weak and not the person I want to be and certainly not the person my family deserve. I think I need to go to bed now. It has not been a good day. Leave a Reply Cancel reply.

3

January 2015 – the road to winter

https://theroadtowinter.wordpress.com/2015/01

The road to winter. January 27, 2015. January 27, 2015. Ok, I’ve decided, I am not strong enough to deal with this any more. I fucking hate myself. I fucking hate what I have become and I fucking hate what I am doing to my family. I am an alcoholic. I am full of hate. I am a complete failure in everything I do. I cannot deal with this any more. I am weak and not the person I want to be and certainly not the person my family deserve. I think I need to go to bed now. It has not been a good day. And then I ...

4

the road to winter – Page 2

https://theroadtowinter.wordpress.com/page/2

The road to winter. November 13, 2014. November 17, 2014. So today is the four week anniversary of my ‘episode’. Initially after I had been prevented from committing suicide I felt pretty low, coming to terms with almost happened and the fact that I was unsuccessful and now had to start functioning again. And I really fucking want a drink. November 11, 2014. November 17, 2014. So a relative on my wife’s side was getting married and her entire family would be in attendance, all of whom now know what...

5

Life is simple… – the road to winter

https://theroadtowinter.wordpress.com/2015/02/03/life-is-simple

The road to winter. Life is simple…. February 3, 2015. February 3, 2015. Saw this graphic on this post. Sums it all up rather neatly I thought, so I wanted to re-post it here so I could refer back to it. I’m not cured. Square one →. Leave a Reply Cancel reply. Enter your comment here. Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:. Address never made public). You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. ( Log Out. You are commenting using your Twitter account. ( Log Out.

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Art Portfolio – BY LAUREN HAYLEY

https://bylaurenhayley.wordpress.com/portfolio-art

BPD, Cyclothymia and Agoraphobia Fact Sheet. Here is some of my art work. Fill it with Happiness – Ink, August 2015. Tools – Watercolour and Ink, July 2015. Key to the Cage – Adobe Illustrator, July 2015. Headdress – Acrylics, July 2015. Charlie Farley – Pencil/Black ink, May 2015. Silhouette – Pencil, March 2015. White Lotus – Acrylics, January 2015. Hope – Acrylics, January 2015. Purple Lilies Canvas – Acrylics, November 2014. Wine Region Wedding Table Names – Watercolour, September 2014. Your spirit a...

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the road to winter

The road to winter. February 13, 2015. March 17, 2015. I don’t know where to start with this so I guess I’ll start at the beginning. Reading back over my last few posts I can see I was starting to fall. At the time though I didn’t recognise the signs. How could I not? They were almost the same as before. Only this time it seemed to happen much quicker. My drinking had been steadily increasing, ‘controlled’ I told myself. What is controlled about cracking open a can at 8am? That was my cue. My trigger.

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