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Tuesday, August 31, 2004. ARTHUR'S LAWS OF LAZINESS:. After much consideration, I have decided that it is time to clear up all these ideas about laziness. "But wait, Arthur! You cry. "You're the laziest of us all! I am not lazy for the sake of being lazy, my lazy is a delicate practice in the art of doing nothing for long periods of time. My laziness is not simply not working, it is a study in how best to avoid that work. My lazy is study of ones inner fat guy. I'm a scholar, goddamit!
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The Gospel According to Arthur. Tuesday, November 26, 2002. Shot, Chopped, and Scored by.
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Tuesday, June 10, 2003. ARTHUR'S LAW OF THE VIDEO GAME:. Today, June 10th, was my mother's birthday. Like many mothers, she doesn't want a big deal made, but tonight we convinced her to do something to celebrate. What did she want to do? Go to an arcade. So we did. And after many many hours of roaming around the hot halls of Startime and playing numerous video games, many of which had me shooting someone or racing someone, I have come to these conclusions:. Sermon by Arthur 9:04 PM.
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Thursday, May 13, 2004. Reasons Arthur Is Going To Hell. 1 I laughed when a bird flew head on into the Auditorium window at full speed. 2 I laughed when a six year old ballerina has to dance around with one arm at a right angle in a bright pink elbow cast. 3 I actually liked the movie "Saturday Night Fever.". 4 I laugh hysterically when Johnny Depp bitch-slaps Leonardo DiCaprio in "What's Eating Gilbert Grape.". 5 I HATE ANTIGONE. Sermon by Arthur 6:51 AM. Arthur's Laws of Ballet. I'm so going to hell.
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Tuesday, July 08, 2003. What sick, twisted, horrible excuse for parents named a child "Lucky? Who in the world would name their daughter after the dog? I can just see a date coming to pick her up and getting to meet the whole Rover family. There's Sparky and Fluffy Rover, the parents, over there and here's Lucky Rover and here two bothers Spot and Fido. Sermon by Arthur 4:07 PM. And God did look down upon Arthur. And God did say unto him, "Who the *%@# are you?
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Thursday, October 16, 2003. How in the world could she crash into another car? She barely gets above a rolling stop anyways. How can you hurt another veichle going at 3 miles an hour? On top of that, she hit a minivan. How big is a minivan? Like a smal bus, it's not like a squirrel darted out in front of her. What she thinking. Okay, here we go- -jeez, there's a van right there! Sermon by Arthur 5:33 AM. And God did look down upon Arthur. And God did say unto him, "Who the *%@# are you?
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Tuesday, May 20, 2003. Arthur's Note: Sorry about not posting for awhile but I'm lazy, I have finals and I was unaware anyone was reading anyway. So here's a little something to let you know I'm still alive. 1 If I Don't Know, Then I Don't Care. 2 If I Don't Care, Then It Doesn't Matter. THERE FOR . . . 3 If I Don't Know, Then It Doesn't Matter. NOTE: This Applies To All Aspects Of Life. Sermon by Arthur 6:11 PM. And God did look down upon Arthur. And God did say unto him, "Who the *%@# are you?
