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H o L : January 2015
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Sunday, January 11, 2015. Even at night, ice on the ground bears. Witness to the blackness of those “secret hours,”. Always awake to the cold. Sky’s frozen lake.). Think of all the things you cannot hold. And don’t grieve. 8220;We’re still alive! 8221; says Rachel.). And don’t grieve. Don’t grieve for young times when there was less. As you casually hurled grenades at encroaching. Or for the dream you had of swarming sharks,. Or for men as they. Make love to bottles or. Make love to bottles,. Links to th...
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H o L : July 2014
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Wednesday, July 23, 2014. As of today, my book Beauty State. Has achieved full funding in pre-orders, via it's Kickstarter. Pre-ordering will continue until the last day of the campaign. More pre-orders = a larger first pressing! Links to this post. Monday, July 21, 2014. I tried to find myself less lonely,. And to reckon with the world's swelling. Wound and all that violence. We slept and the dog slept. Between our bent legs,. I always go back to the place. Where I first knew. Where my self can be erased.
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H o L : Charlie
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Monday, July 13, 2015. 8220;I am bombarded yet I stand. I have been standing all my life in the. Direct path of a battery of signals. The most accurately transmitted most. Untranslatable language in the universe”. This is not the first time I have said that. I am going to drive east but only halfway. Because halfway is where my destination lies like a. Yellow picnic blanket next to a sort of. Quaint stream where he fished and smoked and. Lectured the dog when the dog would snuffle his. In one little bed,...
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H o L : June 2014
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Wednesday, June 18, 2014. If This Were A Map:. If this were a map. It would wind bafflingly around my estuary. I have an unsettled oasis,. Something is churning toward future,. Future which is not a reliable resource-. Rather, steam, rather, coal, rather. Desire, wants, needs, beginnings, uncertainty, nakedness, fibers, silence, communication, action, inaction, power, (what is it? Things that wield power: scales, steamrollers, guns, ovens, water boarding, captivity, isolation,. Room is more than metaphor:.
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H o L : August 2015
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Wednesday, August 5, 2015. Made a Life of Letting. Keeps falling out of the bed. Every time I’ve scraped the vertebrae. How do I allude to a morning that happened quite. Specifically in my own left. I used to say years ago. We’d make the love that would. But the past is nobody-. The past is a landless bastard-. The past is not. And is no land at all. I have made a life of finding my own. I have made a life of letting men. I have made a life of letting men. Slump on my breast. And cut his arms off arm.
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H o L : May 2014
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Monday, May 19, 2014. More Anatta For Will. How it happens without you. If you aren't careful-. Every moment is yes very deep. Like beyond the wave-breaking point,. Every moment is yes very. Saturated with gravity,. Every moment every moment. I was twelve years old and the world tasted of chamomile. Devoured and shaped by the soft gray fog, so long ago and. The tilting scale questions:. Windmill or fracking drill? Is that a windmill. Or a fracking drill? It is the truth of death, it is as if it never was,.
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H o L : Salt Point Memory
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Monday, August 3, 2015. I tried so hard to explain, we were at Salt Point. We watched the progression of those whales:. And I tried so hard to explain I can’t remember what. I was trying to explain to Joe. Tried to explain the law of the cold blue aether. Maybe I was trying to explain: why I am this way or. How it happened: I don’t know. It doesn’t matter. But his long hair was long,. His hood was up. Hopped across the creek and then. We watched the whales. We slept in safety. And we were all alone.
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H o L : December 2014
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Monday, December 29, 2014. It is my winter legend, as if I had. Walked far through a tunnel or trench,. My winter legend as if I had survived. All I have survived but at once. And this hovering blue light touches. All my gentler desires. And my harsher desires are wrought. Of hot wax and fire. Lovingly I will. Dig a hole big enough for my body. In the sand of this age.). I am almost as fearless as if. I had knowledge of nothing. In Dutch Flat it is freezing. The coal sleeps one foot below. Or want of heat.
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H o L : May 2015
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Saturday, May 9, 2015. Laying Love Down and Paying My Tithe. But one more waking from a distracting headache. And the distracting ache of guilt, the overwhelming colors. Of need, the headache of logistics descending. Like rain over new-shorn hair, so short. Because I have the eyes and am on the inside like. An infant. New and new to everything. Lost and lost to the past: I ran away. I was like. An animal in that way, in how I ran, and I have thrown away. Love me for this shivering jelly or don’t. I am la...
