danafilekgibson.wordpress.com
dfg | aim low. | Page 2
https://danafilekgibson.wordpress.com/page/2
THE WILDS OF BAY CITY, MICHIGAN – Though I am often quick to tell others of my high-functioning, mildly attention-deficit family, there are times, I’m afraid, when we do not fit the portrait of an ideal nuclear* unit. The only reason my father ever has matching socks on his feet. Children rather than just her biological three. Often times, she tells everyone, it is the fourth child, the one to whom she did not give birth, that causes the most aggravation in her life. And to that I say WELL SHE SHOULD....
danafilekgibson.wordpress.com
SO I HAVE A QUESTION… | dfg
https://danafilekgibson.wordpress.com/2010/07/04/so-i-have-a-question
SO I HAVE A QUESTION…. That has been on my mind for several months. Please bear with me. And remember: this question is HYPOTHETICAL. Some would say yes, that the emptiness would be resolved when you went offstage and some bespectacled school employee handed you a diploma which you, after years of college tuition, would have to insert into this diploma book BY YOURSELF. BUT here’s another riddle for you. What IF you walked offstage and some woman was like, Oh, when did you graduate? WHAT DO YOU DO? I say...
danafilekgibson.wordpress.com
Mission: America GREAT SUCCESS!!! | dfg
https://danafilekgibson.wordpress.com/2010/06/21/mission-america-great-success
Mission: America GREAT SUCCESS! The plan is complete:. The ceremony took place in a giant America room, full of star-spangled murals and stone busts of John Adams; I sat before a striking portrait of George Washington with his hand on a horse’s behind, front row, off to the right. It was a perfect view of the afternoon’s proceedings. But as soon as the speaker introduced himself, he began to talk about travel and obtaining American passports. Now, not one of those damn immigrants taking up space in.
danafilekgibson.wordpress.com
Words of Wisdom: From The Old, The Comically Gifted, and The Badass | dfg
https://danafilekgibson.wordpress.com/2010/05/12/words-of-wisdom-from-the-old-the-comically-gifted-and-the-badass
Words of Wisdom: From The Old, The Comically Gifted, and The Badass. It has, with great fanfare, been announced: yes, that’s correct, the 2010 Emerson College Undergraduate Commencement Speaker is. NOT even The Fonz (Emerson alum and inventor of the thumbs-up). Yes, I said Bernard Cornwell. At this point, you may be thinking, Who is Bernard Cornwell? Because, as far as I’m concerned, nobody has ever heard of this prestigious gentleman. But he was born in. Do you know how old that is? Knowing that my New ...
danafilekgibson.wordpress.com
YOU BE THE JUDGE | dfg
https://danafilekgibson.wordpress.com/2010/05/20/you-be-the-judge
YOU BE THE JUDGE. According to my grandfather, I have a mustache. Really, I would call it a couple extra freckles that have recently come in, but Mr. Filek believes otherwise. I have, for the most part, ignored this comment. I’m not too worried about it. But according to my grandmother, my grandfather should not talk out of turn. Other Conversations I Have Had With My Grandmother. MY GRANDMOTHER: Vancouver’s gone downhill though, eh, Dana? ME: How do you mean, Grandma? Of course, this then became a point...
danafilekgibson.wordpress.com
HYDROPOCALYPSE!!! | dfg
https://danafilekgibson.wordpress.com/2010/05/05/hydropocalypse
UPDATE – For those of you privy to the Great Water Main Break of 2010, I am currently drinking from my Brita and no longer smell of pond water. But I WILL be drinking beer for a few extra days, just to be safe. (Also, trying to go legit: from user Warhog through Wikimedia Commons). And that was closed, too. God was frowning on Boston; I contemplated suicide. To make matters worse, Comcast, the prominent television, phone, and Internet company currently headed by Satan (not Miroslav), also decided to smit...
danafilekgibson.wordpress.com
Forgive Me. | dfg
https://danafilekgibson.wordpress.com/2010/11/22/forgive-me
I know it’s very sudden. Believe me, I wasn’t even expecting this myself. But I’ve been feeling this way for a while now and, you see, given my new lifestyle, I’m not sure that I. With this blog anymore. Not that it’s the “old me” – I swear I’m still me underneath all these changes – but I just think I’ll be more comfortable in my own skin if I have a new, different place to express myself. It’s not easy to say this, but here goes:. Not all transitions are pretty. Laquo; SO I HAVE A QUESTION…. Enter your...
danafilekgibson.wordpress.com
The Glory Days | dfg
https://danafilekgibson.wordpress.com/2010/04/28/the-glory-days
But while I am in favour of fried anything and beverages including. To which he replies: Oh, yeah. I know. When can I. Tomorrow. I have resorted to spending in imaginary dollars. And possibly purchasing the Fisher Price plastic fruit of my youth and living on pretend groceries to save money. Bank of America balance: $ Enough to pay rent. Imaginary Bank balance: $ Eleventy-thousand dollars (plus interest). Credit Score: Negative zero. In the meantime, I try to stay positive. However, I will admit the ...
danafilekgibson.wordpress.com
Why Work Has Made Me a Borderline Alcoholic | dfg
https://danafilekgibson.wordpress.com/2010/03/11/why-work-has-made-me-a-borderline-alcoholic
Why Work Has Made Me a Borderline Alcoholic. A little like this. Minus the angry Santa. At the end of each full half-day at work, we all gather ‘round the bar, a beautiful oak-and-mahogany number, and wait for the manager to offer some words of encouragement: Well, we have no money to pay youDana, do you want something? How about a beer? That being said, I do. Keep in mind the shoulder strap is CRUCIAL. But here comes Part Two: I also write articles about bars. A beer-a-day man who doesn’t mind being a t...