noralafata.blogspot.com
HereComesTheSun.: Brave.Heart.
http://noralafata.blogspot.com/2015/01/braveheart.html
Sunday, January 4, 2015. I'm convinced this is the bravest I'll ever be. The morning after we got the news I called my doctor, set up my first six week appointment as one would with any pregnancy. Then I called my perinatologist, left a message with his secretary. He called me at work an hour later, congratulated me and asked when I could come in for blood work and my self-injection lesson. I glanced at my planner. "How's Friday? He paused. "We'd like to see you today.". I can't tell them how every time ...
noralafata.blogspot.com
HereComesTheSun.: Busch League Heartbreak Grads
http://noralafata.blogspot.com/2016/11/busch-league-heartbreak-grads.html
Saturday, November 26, 2016. Busch League Heartbreak Grads. The first time I felt my heart break I was in high school. One afternoon in August I decided to break up with my boyfriend. More honestly, he broke up with me after I insisted we take a "break". We had been together for two years. An eternity in teenage time). I asked him how he'd been, as if we hadn't seen each other in years, and he looked at me and that's when everything changed. "Actually," he said, "I've been.great.". What I'd give now for ...
noralafata.blogspot.com
HereComesTheSun.: The How
http://noralafata.blogspot.com/2014/04/the-how.html
Saturday, April 12, 2014. IN case you were wondering, there is no referee. There is no one who comes rushing in when life gets too physical, too painful. No one to save you in the moments you are pinned to the mat, squirming and begging and struggling to breathe. There is no one who stops the world when the doctor says "What I'm seeing isn't reassuring.". I kept looking towards the door, waiting for someone to burst through and say, Seriously? No, no. We're done here. I remember things about that day.
noralafata.blogspot.com
HereComesTheSun.: June 2016
http://noralafata.blogspot.com/2016_06_01_archive.html
Friday, June 24, 2016. I figured out why I. Love running. It's the only thing on this Earth that comes close to what this life without you feels like. How is near death attractive? And when I make it home I always feel accomplished. Like I could have stopped but didn't. Like it could have killed me but it hasn't. Yet. Pink is dumb. Splatter paint leggings are dumb. Why didn't this fucking scale work? I miss you I miss you I miss you.". Thursday, June 9, 2016. That time I was like Sandra Bullock. In the f...
noralafata.blogspot.com
HereComesTheSun.: May 2016
http://noralafata.blogspot.com/2016_05_01_archive.html
Friday, May 27, 2016. 365 Days Post Exhalation. Three weeks ago I Google-d "Rainbow Birthday Party". Streamers. Polka dots. Lollipops. Cakes and cupcakes and salsa and food coloring, and lots and lots of chevron. I realize none of that is what's important. Still as we sang to him, I couldn't help but notice the reds and deep blues and yellows and greens. This celebration of his life, surrounding him in swirly serenade. For nine months I planned his death. The sound of his heartbeat was commonplace in my ...
noralafata.blogspot.com
HereComesTheSun.: Shook.
http://noralafata.blogspot.com/2016/12/shook.html
Wednesday, December 21, 2016. Last week I handed back a test. A class full of teenage eyes stared up at me as I scoffed, pacing back and forth in my confusion as to how they could possibly have done so poorly on a topic we'd covered for over a month. Their faces changed. They assured me that their jeering, their laughter and their calls to one another from across the room had all been a farce. "Ms. LaFata," one student said. "We're laughing but we care. We're still shook.". So what's the issue? But there...
noralafata.blogspot.com
HereComesTheSun.: October 2016
http://noralafata.blogspot.com/2016_10_01_archive.html
Saturday, October 22, 2016. What Hurts the Most. I got another one! Yes, of course it works. But you're not satisfied? No, I'm not satisfied. How long have you had it? I just don't like it. Monday, October 17, 2016. Really random thoughts: Then and Now. It's three days after you died and there's a knock at the door. My eyes open. Swollen and crusted from tears that never fell and tears that wanted to, drying in pools on the lids, seeping out the sides. A man holding flowers beams down at me, "Wow! I'm in...
noralafata.blogspot.com
HereComesTheSun.: December 2016
http://noralafata.blogspot.com/2016_12_01_archive.html
Wednesday, December 21, 2016. Last week I handed back a test. A class full of teenage eyes stared up at me as I scoffed, pacing back and forth in my confusion as to how they could possibly have done so poorly on a topic we'd covered for over a month. Their faces changed. They assured me that their jeering, their laughter and their calls to one another from across the room had all been a farce. "Ms. LaFata," one student said. "We're laughing but we care. We're still shook.". So what's the issue? But there...
noralafata.blogspot.com
HereComesTheSun.: August 2016
http://noralafata.blogspot.com/2016_08_01_archive.html
Friday, August 26, 2016. On Grief and Assuming the Null. Like a hideous, horned reptile that shoots poison from its pores, it seems my grief has evolved. Recently I was talking with a friend about her future plans. In my mind these words seem to repel each other now, future and plans, but not everyone feels the same. This friend has two adorable children, one boy and one girl. It doesn't matter to me what the third one is,". She assured me, smiling. There are no "reminders" now. I've accepted that yo...
noralafata.blogspot.com
HereComesTheSun.: April 2016
http://noralafata.blogspot.com/2016_04_01_archive.html
Wednesday, April 27, 2016. Post-Traumatic Teacher Stress Disorder. I've decided it's a thing. Today was the "ABI" lab. Students were to compute their Ankle Brachial Index. That is, the test used to measure the severity of peripheral artery disease. Basically, they had to find their ankle pulse. I'm sure it's simple enough for most, but for me this lab requires a pep talk. The mental (or actual) shot of whiskey the night before and a healthy glass of wine the night after. At my very last appointment prior...
