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Little Bit Psycho

Friday, May 31, 2013. Birds, Bees, and Target Practice. A few months ago, Secondo and Terzo developed the awful habit of using the phrase "making out." They found these words hilarious and could not understand why they got into trouble when we overheard them speaking to each other about making out with hot babes. One day, Mr. Psycho heard Terzo accuse Secondo of wanting to make out with me. His mother. Mr. Psycho sat both boys down and said to them, "Do you know what making out means? We responded to the...

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Little Bit Psycho | littlebitpsycho.blogspot.com Reviews
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Friday, May 31, 2013. Birds, Bees, and Target Practice. A few months ago, Secondo and Terzo developed the awful habit of using the phrase making out. They found these words hilarious and could not understand why they got into trouble when we overheard them speaking to each other about making out with hot babes. One day, Mr. Psycho heard Terzo accuse Secondo of wanting to make out with me. His mother. Mr. Psycho sat both boys down and said to them, Do you know what making out means? We responded to the...
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Little Bit Psycho | littlebitpsycho.blogspot.com Reviews

https://littlebitpsycho.blogspot.com

Friday, May 31, 2013. Birds, Bees, and Target Practice. A few months ago, Secondo and Terzo developed the awful habit of using the phrase "making out." They found these words hilarious and could not understand why they got into trouble when we overheard them speaking to each other about making out with hot babes. One day, Mr. Psycho heard Terzo accuse Secondo of wanting to make out with me. His mother. Mr. Psycho sat both boys down and said to them, "Do you know what making out means? We responded to the...

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1

Little Bit Psycho: A Visit From St. Valentine

http://littlebitpsycho.blogspot.com/2012/02/visit-from-st-valentine.html

Tuesday, February 14, 2012. A Visit From St. Valentine. Back when I was in college, I took some writing classes. A lot of writing classes, actually, but I'm sure that's pretty obvious to anyone who reads this blog. Right? And no, I didn't take any drawing classes. My artistic abilities are 100% natural and unimpeded by higher education. As soon as the said "Candy Bar" this lightning bolt of inspiration totally struck my brain and I knew. I ran back to my dorm and feverishly wrote for at least 40 to 45 mi...

2

Little Bit Psycho: May 2011

http://littlebitpsycho.blogspot.com/2011_05_01_archive.html

Tuesday, May 31, 2011. I'm talking about the poker face. I never had a good poker face until Prima reached the toddler years. Until then, I'd managed with inferior strategies like making up a reason to turn my back on her so she couldn't see my face or just quickly leaving the room with my head buried in my hands. As Prima got older, it became clear I needed to improve my game before she developed severe emotional scars. Faced with my first parasite-feeding-off-my-child's-blood challenge, I panicked.

3

Little Bit Psycho: Flossing Those Hard to Reach Places

http://littlebitpsycho.blogspot.com/2012/01/flossing-those-hard-to-reach-places.html

Monday, January 2, 2012. Flossing Those Hard to Reach Places. I'm going to let you in on a little parenting secret. If you already have children past the baby stage, you've probably experienced this. If not, well, consider yourself warned. Are you ready for this? Whatever you just imagined will never happen. So go ahead and think of some more really dumb things your future kid might do. Dr Dentist: Mrs. Psycho? It's Dr. Dentist. How are you? Me: I'm good, how are you? Dr Dentist: Fine, fine! Dr Dentist: ...

4

Little Bit Psycho: How My Dad Tried to Kill Me. Repeatedly.

http://littlebitpsycho.blogspot.com/2011/06/how-my-dad-tried-to-kill-me-repeatedly.html

Wednesday, June 8, 2011. How My Dad Tried to Kill Me. Repeatedly. You are cordially invited to join me on a trip down memory lane. Yes, we're visiting the days of my childhood, when a Happy Meal on a TV tray in front of a new episode of The A Team. That's where we're headed today, only we aren't going to explore those bright moments of childish pleasure. We're visiting the darker side of childhood. This is the stuff Stephen King novels are made of, so be warned. I didn't immediately reali. What could be ...

5

Little Bit Psycho: The Laxative Incident

http://littlebitpsycho.blogspot.com/2011/06/laxative-incident.html

Sunday, June 26, 2011. At Terzo's one year checkup, his pediatrician prescribed a laxative powder that I'd mix into water (or juice, if I could get him to drink that) and would help him move his bowels like a normal human being. She cautioned me that the dosage may need adjusting once the laxative started to take full effect. When we got home, I dutifully followed the doctor's instructions and started giving Terzo the laxative once a day. Then, I looked and Terzo and my heart sank. Not good. One pink...

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Me and the Boys: September 2011

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Me and the Boys. Wednesday, September 28, 2011. Randomness, the Sequel. I so enjoy randomness. It allows me to share with you snapshots of my life without having to come up with an entire blog that makes sense from beginning to end. Conversations with the kids:. Kam: I'm not growing fast enough. Me: You're growing too fast for me. Kam: No my not! I want to be growed up so I can be a policeman and it takes forever! And tilted his head towards his dad. Typical cop. I told the boys to shut the TV off and fi...

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Me and the Boys: March 2012

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Me and the Boys. Tuesday, March 27, 2012. Crap My Kids Have Ruined. I have decided that even if I DID have the money to buy nice things, there would really be no point in doing so until the year 2025 or later. It all depends on where my kids decide to go to college (note I did not say "if"). I started learning this lesson the hard way when I had my first, and the realization has become more concrete ever since. 3) Along the same lines, Shawn's Laz-E-Boy has acquired a slight tilt. Apparently, when th...

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Me and the Boys: September 2012

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Me and the Boys. Friday, September 7, 2012. It's me again. It's been a long day, and I'm tired. I hate getting up at 5 AM, but thank you for granting me another day. I hate having to drive an hour every day to get my kids to school on time, but I thank you for having a vehicle to drive. I had to take another test at school today, but thank you for giving me the courage to be back in school at my age, and thanks for the determination to get through it. It's a pain in the butt to have to go door-to-door se...

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Me and the Boys: I Hate Kindergarten!

http://schweitzerboyslife.blogspot.com/2013/08/i-hate-kindergarten.html

Me and the Boys. Saturday, August 3, 2013. The new school year is nearly upon us, and I admit, I'm feeling a bit more dread than the kids are. Last year was Kamrin's first year at "real school." Around this area, kindergartners are rounded up, and placed in one building. Five hundred 5 year olds? What could possibly go wrong? I was hopeful for Kam. He was very social, had no problems to talking to people, and he was excited to go. For about 2 weeks. Since when do 5 year olds know how long 10 minutes is?

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Me and the Boys: October 2011

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Me and the Boys. Sunday, October 9, 2011. Mirror, mirror on the wall. Do you ever have those moments, when you're looking at yourself in the mirror, and you realize.yep, I'm not 26 any more. I mean, really. I know it, I do. But sometimes I wish I could see myself from someone else's eyes. What do I look like to someone else? I've had hints, I know you all see them too, that famous lead singer that you lusted over as a teen, they make the news and you think, "My god! What happened to him? My pajamas are a...

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Me and the Boys: October 2012

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Me and the Boys. Thursday, October 4, 2012. We're moving in the next 3 to 6 months. I decided to have a garage sale.like 4 months ago. I started early, because there was clearly a lot of crap that I didn't want to move. I sorted, discarded and priced room by room. I came across a lot of stuff where I questioned my sanity as to why I chose to hang on to a particular item in the first place. (i.e. a fake feathered bird, a spider Christmas ornament.what the heck was I thinking? We had 40 mph winds the first...

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Me and the Boys: June 2012

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Me and the Boys. Saturday, June 30, 2012. How My Kids Murdered My Type A Personality. It’s hell for us. And probably hell on our loved ones. But only because we care, and because we want what’s best and we just love you so much! At least that’s what we tell ourselves. But not for my mom. She adores this week and does everything within her power to plan a fun-filled week with Grammie and Papa that would revile Disney World. But in so doing, she fills her schedule with allotted times, cleans her house,...

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Me and the Boys: July 2013

http://schweitzerboyslife.blogspot.com/2013_07_01_archive.html

Me and the Boys. Saturday, July 27, 2013. I have to breathe a sigh of relief here. I've been absent from my writing for nearly a year now, but it's with good cause. So, I'm hoping that those of you who read me before will catch up where we left off. So let me tell you what's been going on for the last couple of years, and then I'll get back to writing about the good stuff.my boys. There were some major struggles with my deciding to go back to school:. I'd get a small rush when I looked at our grocery bil...

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Me and the Boys: August 2013

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Me and the Boys. Saturday, August 31, 2013. Date Night. Then and Now. Tonight was one of those extremely rare nights where BOTH boys were invited to a sleepover. At the same house. Brave people. Anyway. I throw some mismatched clothes in a beach bag, topped by some pj's that were probably more suited for winter than the 90º day we had today, and. We did have a date night. But we've been together for 10 years, and the original date night was 2 kids ago.things have changed. Date night started at 9PM. Jeans...

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Me and the Boys: November 2011

http://schweitzerboyslife.blogspot.com/2011_11_01_archive.html

Me and the Boys. Thursday, November 17, 2011. Charlie's Story (insert goosebumps here). I'm an animal lover, always have been always will be. But I especially love dogs. I own two. There's just something special about dogs and the way they interact with humans, the way they cock their head at you like they're really listening. You can leave the house to start your car, come back in, and they act like they haven't seen you in 6 months! If you love dogs too, you know exactly what I'm talking about. Kam: "(...

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Little Bit Psycho

Friday, May 31, 2013. Birds, Bees, and Target Practice. A few months ago, Secondo and Terzo developed the awful habit of using the phrase "making out." They found these words hilarious and could not understand why they got into trouble when we overheard them speaking to each other about making out with hot babes. One day, Mr. Psycho heard Terzo accuse Secondo of wanting to make out with me. His mother. Mr. Psycho sat both boys down and said to them, "Do you know what making out means? We responded to the...

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