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Workman Archives: Save The Manatees
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Thursday, September 29, 2011. The following column was originally published in March of 2007. While editor of a news organization (sort of), we got lots of press releases from nearly every publicity-hungry collection of political zealots known to mankind. But I remember one I received that really caught my eye. It was from the “Save The Manatees” group. At first, I thought it was somebody pulling my chain, because people who know me know that I’m the only guy on the planet who hates manatees. 8220;Sea po...
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Workman Chronicle: Get Naked Like A Royal
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Humor with a small town spin. Thursday, September 20, 2012. Get Naked Like A Royal. Once upon a time, in a land about eight time zones away, there lived a handsome prince and a lovely duchess. A century ago, she would have been considered a princess, but there's some technicality nobody can figure out involving bloodlines and a wicked old queen, so we're going with "duchess" for this tale. The prince was a studly guy who enjoyed a good time, especially those involving Mead Light. The hand maiden, or mayb...
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Workman Chronicle: May 2012
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Humor with a small town spin. Saturday, May 26, 2012. Tribute To Theophil Czekajski. Theophil Czekajski is the second name listed on. The third column engraved on the wall of the. This story was originally published in The Spectrum in 2004, less than a year after the start of the war in Iraq. It started with a dream. It was another dream about. I have those often, usually as December 7. Unlike most dreams which disappear like a wisp of smoke at daylight, this one stuck with me. He was a Signalman 3.
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Workman Chronicle: April 2012
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Humor with a small town spin. Monday, April 30, 2012. New Reasons To Hate Air Travel. While flying to and from Florida last week, I had several revelations. I used to love flying with the airlines. Then 9/11 happened, the federal government responded with invasive, almost torturous security measures, and the TSA (which according to popular jokesters stands for "Touchin', Squeezin', Arrestin'," "Taking Scissors Away," or my favorite, "Tough Sh* America! Became the new way to fly. For starters if they were...
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Workman Archives: Eunuch Union
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Thursday, September 1, 2011. The following column was originally published in May of 2006. It seems that everyone wants to be a eunuch in India these days. I know, it sounds a little far fetched, but according to a story from the AFP news service, legitimate eunuchs in India are being forced to issue their own photo ID cards as proof of their, um, legitimacy. Heck, for that matter, I can’t imagine that anyone would want to ACTUALLY have these parts removed. The story doesn’t say why. The real issue was a...
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Workman Chronicle: You Might Be From Mesquite If…
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Humor with a small town spin. Thursday, September 27, 2012. You Might Be From Mesquite If…. If you’ve lived in Mesquite for any length of time, you know that there are certain phrases and statements that are unique to our small city. Below, I’ve included a few that you might recognize, or have perhaps even said during your time here. For example, You Might Be From Mesquite If…. 8230;you’ve ever caught yourself saying “It’s ONLY 104 degrees today” in the middle of September. 8230;you believe that the only...
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Workman Chronicle: November 2012
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Humor with a small town spin. Monday, November 5, 2012. Last Will and Testament of Morris Workman. Ladies and gentlemen, we are gathered here today to mark the passing of a friend and neighbor:. Oh, the fat guy in suspenders isn't dead (yet). I'm just passing on.to another state. I could get all maudlin and sad, offering vignettes of past columns, but that's boring and bordering on nothing better than a rerun. I wouldn't want to go out like that. To Greg Lee and The Eureka. To Mayor Mark Wier. I leave a ...
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Workman Chronicle: Official Guide To Pets
http://workmanchronicle.blogspot.com/2012/10/official-guide-to-pets.html
Humor with a small town spin. Thursday, October 11, 2012. Official Guide To Pets. I’m an animal lover. That’s not to be confused with the human-hating, anti-leather, fur-destroying, rodeo-bashing vegan lunatics that pretend to like animals but really just enjoy imposing their obnoxious views on a majority that still likes ground cow and deep-fried poultry. Yes, Pamela Anderson, I’m talking about you. I love most animals, with the logical exception of those who would like to eat me for breakfast. That par...
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Workman Archives: August 2011
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Tuesday, August 30, 2011. The following column was originally published in June of 2004. To some people, golf isn't a game. It isn't a sport. It's something much more important. To them, golf is a religion. Just as in discussions about religion, people basically fall into one of three categories: non-believers (folks who don’t golf), followers (players who manage to find the links once a month), and zealots (people who believe Jack Nicklaus’s. Birthday should be a national holiday). If they’re good...
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Workman Chronicle: January 2012
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Humor with a small town spin. Monday, January 30, 2012. Searching For Barbeque In Reno. While spending last week in Reno and Sparks, which are basically the same place except Sparks has prettier street signs, I got a hankering for some good barbeque. For the uninitiated, "hankering" is a technical culinary term utilized by BBQ connoisseurs to indicate a "strong epicurean desire."). My first mistake was employing a 21st century solution to a 19th century problem. Las Vegas is known as the place for speedy...
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