wontfearlove.blogspot.com

I Won't Fear Love

Monday, January 13, 2014. Round and round it goes. Tuesday, February 19, 2013. His name, in lights. There are precious few things that bear A's name. I mean, I could cover reams of paper with it, in different fonts and different languages. I could pay someone to sky write it. Both of these- and many more- seem sad and pointless to me. He's still dead, you know. I am also not saying I am obsessed with this or anything, but I did leave a tab of the Kickstarter page. Or family- I am not picky. Those of you ...

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I Won't Fear Love | wontfearlove.blogspot.com Reviews

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Monday, January 13, 2014. Round and round it goes. Tuesday, February 19, 2013. His name, in lights. There are precious few things that bear A's name. I mean, I could cover reams of paper with it, in different fonts and different languages. I could pay someone to sky write it. Both of these- and many more- seem sad and pointless to me. He's still dead, you know. I am also not saying I am obsessed with this or anything, but I did leave a tab of the Kickstarter page. Or family- I am not picky. Those of you ...

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I Won't Fear Love | wontfearlove.blogspot.com Reviews

https://wontfearlove.blogspot.com

Monday, January 13, 2014. Round and round it goes. Tuesday, February 19, 2013. His name, in lights. There are precious few things that bear A's name. I mean, I could cover reams of paper with it, in different fonts and different languages. I could pay someone to sky write it. Both of these- and many more- seem sad and pointless to me. He's still dead, you know. I am also not saying I am obsessed with this or anything, but I did leave a tab of the Kickstarter page. Or family- I am not picky. Those of you ...

INTERNAL PAGES

wontfearlove.blogspot.com

1

I Won't Fear Love: 6/1/12 - 7/1/12

http://wontfearlove.blogspot.com/2012_06_01_archive.html

Thursday, June 28, 2012. I turn 38 today. And SCOTUS gave me a present. Thank you, Chief Justice Roberts! You really should have, though I did not at all expect it. :). So I turn 38 today. It's a weird thing, somehow. I was not looking forward to this birthday at all. Partially because there was no way for me to know what the day would bring. We could've had a live baby by now. We could've had a dead baby by now. Hell, we can still have either today- it's only 1pm here*. Sunday, June 24, 2012. This is th...

2

I Won't Fear Love: HNAFU: Headspace Normal, All Effed Up

http://wontfearlove.blogspot.com/2012/06/hnafu-headspace-normal-all-effed-up.html

Wednesday, June 13, 2012. HNAFU: Headspace Normal, All Effed Up. When the Cub was born, he spent a week in NICU, most of it because of an infection. Three weeks before he was born, I spent a weekend in the hospital. Barely five days before that weekend at the hospital I wrote here. BUT what if he wasn't born when he was? What if the infection NICU ended up kicking in the balls was allowed to keep going on the inside? This is the crazy-inducing what if. These weeks are tough, the balancing act trying to f...

3

I Won't Fear Love: 2/1/13 - 3/1/13

http://wontfearlove.blogspot.com/2013_02_01_archive.html

Tuesday, February 19, 2013. His name, in lights. There are precious few things that bear A's name. I mean, I could cover reams of paper with it, in different fonts and different languages. I could pay someone to sky write it. Both of these- and many more- seem sad and pointless to me. He's still dead, you know. For a little indy movie about a couple whose first child dies and is stillborn. It is called Return to Zero, and most likely you've heard of it by now. Or family- I am not picky. From time to time.

4

I Won't Fear Love: 5/1/12 - 6/1/12

http://wontfearlove.blogspot.com/2012_05_01_archive.html

Thursday, May 31, 2012. May 6th last year was a busy-busy day. A busy, but a very good day. I took Monkey and a friend to see older girls from her gym compete at a national-level meet, I stopped by an old place of employment to drop off student work, and after a very short pit stop at home, went to a girls' night out. Promising, no? And a little bit of a mindfuck, I guess- makes the math of our own ages pretty inescapable. While I was away from here, I still occasionally wrote for Glow in the Woods.

5

I Won't Fear Love: Round and round it goes...

http://wontfearlove.blogspot.com/2014/01/round-and-round-it-goes.html

Monday, January 13, 2014. Round and round it goes. Thank you so much for this writing. I lost my son a year ago (his Hebrew yahrzeit is tomorrow, but we decided to follow the English date, its so ingrained in my mind), and reading back through your posts on Glow kept me going during the first bleak months. Thank you for your words. January 13, 2014 at 9:06 PM. January 15, 2014 at 3:58 PM. January 18, 2014 at 12:52 PM. February 2, 2014 at 4:30 AM. Love to you all. We miss you. February 23, 2014 at 10:30 PM.

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thelittlestbean.blogspot.com

the littlest bean: William 2/1/2006

http://thelittlestbean.blogspot.com/2011/02/william-212006.html

The loss of our son William has changed me, but it doesn't define me . "I am not what happened to me, I am what I choose to become" - Carl Jung. Wednesday, February 2, 2011. It was like it had been written just for us. I carry your heart with me. I carry it in my heart). I am never without it. Anywhere i go you go,my dear; and whatever is done. By only me is your doing, my darling). I fear no fate (for you are my fate, my sweet). I want no world (for beautiful you are my world, my true). Glow in the woods.

thelittlestbean.blogspot.com

the littlest bean: April 2009

http://thelittlestbean.blogspot.com/2009_04_01_archive.html

The loss of our son William has changed me, but it doesn't define me . "I am not what happened to me, I am what I choose to become" - Carl Jung. Friday, April 24, 2009. Not really able to write, but. Here are some more pictures. Monday, April 20, 2009. An update and pictures. I knew I'd be busy but.WOW! Sunday, April 12, 2009. A week later, and we're both at home. Little Mr. Vincent is a week old today and he got to spend the whole day at home with us. He is doing well and we are HAPPY beyond measure&#46...

thelittlestbean.blogspot.com

the littlest bean: August 2010

http://thelittlestbean.blogspot.com/2010_08_01_archive.html

The loss of our son William has changed me, but it doesn't define me . "I am not what happened to me, I am what I choose to become" - Carl Jung. Monday, August 30, 2010. Why do people take down their blogs or erase all or most of their posts when they feel like they are "done"? I just don't get it. I understand not blogging anymore. My days are full from beginning to end. It's just the deleting that I don't understand. Maybe someone can help me see why it's done. Here is what happened:. This was not a Ne...

thelittlestbean.blogspot.com

the littlest bean: October 2011

http://thelittlestbean.blogspot.com/2011_10_01_archive.html

The loss of our son William has changed me, but it doesn't define me . "I am not what happened to me, I am what I choose to become" - Carl Jung. Saturday, October 1, 2011. I just got online for the first time in over seven months. Wow. The world keeps turning and sometimes good things happen to good people. Monica, I can't believe that I completely missed your pregnancy. Not that I could have "been there" with you. I can barely be here for myself! Before I write anything more I have to say:. As one of ou...

thelittlestbean.blogspot.com

the littlest bean: September 2009

http://thelittlestbean.blogspot.com/2009_09_01_archive.html

The loss of our son William has changed me, but it doesn't define me . "I am not what happened to me, I am what I choose to become" - Carl Jung. Friday, September 18, 2009. Today we went to the yearly picnic for senior citizens and a photographer from our local newspaper took this photo. The little guy is teething and he fell asleep with my thumb in his mouth. Subscribe to: Posts (Atom). View my complete profile. A little bit lost (Ange). A mending heart (missing one). Dead baby jokes (Niobe).

thelittlestbean.blogspot.com

the littlest bean: November 2010

http://thelittlestbean.blogspot.com/2010_11_01_archive.html

The loss of our son William has changed me, but it doesn't define me . "I am not what happened to me, I am what I choose to become" - Carl Jung. Tuesday, November 30, 2010. We had the "big" ultrasound three weeks ago. They are so thorough, looking at everything.and that darn doctor is so doom and gloom. The baby is fine. But before I got to feel ok about everything he did his best to scare me to death. There is (was? The cyst is gone. The placenta is moving up, as expected. Baby girl is growing great!

thelittlestbean.blogspot.com

the littlest bean: The little guy

http://thelittlestbean.blogspot.com/2010/12/little-guy.html

The loss of our son William has changed me, but it doesn't define me . "I am not what happened to me, I am what I choose to become" - Carl Jung. Friday, December 3, 2010. These pictures are in no particular order and don't really represent any kind of chronology. I think the most recent picture was taken when he was 14 months old? So cute.they are so much fun at that age. Enjoy! December 7, 2010 at 5:44:00 AM PST. He is a handsome fellow. December 15, 2010 at 9:56:00 PM PST. View my complete profile.

thelittlestbean.blogspot.com

the littlest bean: February 2010

http://thelittlestbean.blogspot.com/2010_02_01_archive.html

The loss of our son William has changed me, but it doesn't define me . "I am not what happened to me, I am what I choose to become" - Carl Jung. Monday, February 1, 2010. I just put Vincent down for a nap and am fighting the urge to do chores, etc., as I usually do. It is hard to believe that four years have gone by. Four years. I have to count them on my fingers to check.yep, it's true. The pull to do disheslaundryetc. is winning out. Subscribe to: Posts (Atom). View my complete profile.

livingacharmedlife.blogspot.com

a charmed life?: September 2009

http://livingacharmedlife.blogspot.com/2009_09_01_archive.html

Do not judge by mere appearances; for the light laughter that bubbles on the lip often mantles over the depths of sadness, and the serious look may be the sober veil that covers a divine peace and joy. Tuesday, September 22, 2009. In the one life that we've got. Where do we go from here. How do we carry on. I can't get beyond the questions. Clambering for the scraps. In the shatter of the collapsed. It cuts me with every could-have-been. Pain on pain on play, repeating. What of the wretched hollow. She r...

thelittlestbean.blogspot.com

the littlest bean: thirty-four weeks

http://thelittlestbean.blogspot.com/2011/02/thirty-four-weeks.html

The loss of our son William has changed me, but it doesn't define me . "I am not what happened to me, I am what I choose to become" - Carl Jung. Wednesday, February 16, 2011. The GD hasn't been bad at all. If anything, it has ensured that I eat regularly- since I have to test my blood sugar four times a day. My numbers have been fine, though. I'm feeling a pretty even split as to whether or not I am ready for this little lady to be here on the outside yet. I want her to continue cooking, of course. Losse...

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wontfearlove.blogspot.com

I Won't Fear Love

Monday, January 13, 2014. Round and round it goes. Tuesday, February 19, 2013. His name, in lights. There are precious few things that bear A's name. I mean, I could cover reams of paper with it, in different fonts and different languages. I could pay someone to sky write it. Both of these- and many more- seem sad and pointless to me. He's still dead, you know. I am also not saying I am obsessed with this or anything, but I did leave a tab of the Kickstarter page. Or family- I am not picky. Those of you ...

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A Memo of Web Browser Technology, Mobile and etc. Friday, February 8, 2013. This is a screencast. Friday, February 1, 2013. Progress of Firefox on Windows ARM. This isn't official project and is just my research. Here is Jailbreak. Surface's screenshot o . Now, I am working. JavaScript JIT is turned off. Although Win32/ARM ABI seems to require Thumb-2 only, our SpiderMonkey JIT generates ARMv7 code, not Thumb-2. So to use JIT on Win32/ARM, it is rewrite JIT assembler using Thumb-2 only.

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